chris theleBLOG

sometimes the proof is where you least expect it...

2012-01-31T10:43:00.002+11:00

why is it that we are so quick to, and find it so easy to, latch on to anything that explains away God; yet so reluctant to do the same with other things that are not of God...? i think the answer lies where we least expect it...

and maybe it's this... there is an Enemy.
and that adversary, is constantly using every manner of deception, to decieve us into believing anything but God. and once we are off believing in something else, he is perfectly content with letting us go on in our ignorance with little to no resistance.

at this point, only the immense grace of God can awaken us from these spells of God-ignorance. and it usually comes in the form of some sort of wound to our souls, or breaking of our hearts, or illness or tragedy that awakens our sleeping faith from the depths of deadness.

think about it...you wanna get close to money...? you don't find much resistance do you?

how bout girls?

how bout work?

try knowledge?

bury your head in your iphone?

or get your comfort in a starbucks triple mocha expressalatte...

______________ insert your thing here.

point is...we are perfectly free to draw near to anything we want. and really, most things are pretty easy to draw near too....only problem is, as we all find, those things don't last. they're temporary.

but...try and draw near to God...what do you get? resistance. the Enemy throws every excuse in the world your way to explain away the truth of Jesus...and the sad part....we listen.

when you really look at what's happening here...you begin to see some traces of light through the fog. see, in actuality, the Enemy shows his hand in his eagerness to explain God away, and, in turn, shows us that there is a God whom he is trying to keep us from.

so next time seventeen excuses fill your mind when you begin to ponder the reality of God, remember that there is an Enemy trying to keep you from believing...and remember that Jesus is revealing His truth to us everyday in that still, small voice that is stonger, and quieter than the all the other voices speaking to us.

'with Him' not 'for Him'.

2012-01-22T20:08:00.001+11:00

to say that we are doing things for God is to imply we're doing it on our own apart from Him. rather what we should be after is to do things with God. what do you think Jesus meant when He said 'take my yoke upon you and learn from me.' He was saying 'let's do this together.' what God is after more than anything is for us just to be with Him. its not that He needs us...that would be a fairly arrogant way to look at our relationship with the almighty One. rather He chooses to work through us and in us because He loves us more than we could ever know. so don't worry about doing 'things' for a God who already has everything as if your fulfilling some silly quota of God-service...instead, just be with Him and see what He does with you.

a jealous kind.

2012-01-20T05:58:00.002+11:00

some lyrics worth reading.

a video worth watching.

couple notes on faith...

2012-01-10T15:08:00.001+11:00

i had a friend once tell me that, 'the way he sees it, as long as people get fulfilled out of it, it doesn't matter what they worship...they can worship a tree and get fulfilled and its all the same...' and this is a guy i love (in a totally dude way)...he's an awesome dude, and i'm not mentioning this to ridicule his thinking or anything like that...actually, i get it...totally get that thought. it's this idea that, as long as it works for you, then it's cool. it's this post-christian era mindset that anything goes and all faiths are created equal, cuz hey, we're all going to the same place anyway, right... seems like it kinda makes sense when you think about it. i mean, wouldn't it be easier if it just were that way. that it didn't really matter what you believed as long as you believed in something....

maybe a part of me wishes that was how it worked...sure would make it a lot easier to look around at a world so lost and so broken and just shrug my shoulders and say, 'eh, it's all the same...you're god is as good as mine...see you on the other side...' then i would know that a lot of my friends and people i know and love that don't know this Jesus that i know, would still be going to heaven, even though they don't know Him, or even believe in Him. it would be a lot easier to think that way.

but what if that's just not true...after all, the easy way is rarely the real way. what if it mattered not if you had faith, but what you were putting your faith in. see this is where the power of faith really lies. it's not if you have faith...lots of people have 'faith'. people put their faith in all kinds of things...some put it in the stock market. some put it in their job. some put it in gods, or goddesses, or...trees. some put it in their friends, family...themselves. some put faith in tomorrow. some just have faith in faith. all of it amounts to pretty much....well, nothing. see faith in itself does not get you anywhere....not anywhere you wanna go that is.

the lie.

'something, somewhere out there will save me in the end, and in the meantime it's all really just the same thing in a different package.'

so why bother with....truth?

because my friend, the truth will set you free.

so here's what it comes down to...what are you putting your faith in? that tree ain't gonna do much for you, so why would you worship that? now i'm kinda joking about the tree-worship (though there probably is some out there that do worship trees or something) but wouldn't you rather worship the One who made the tree rather than the tree itself? i mean, give me that God! that's the one i want to put my faith in...not the one someone just made up somewhere along the line. or the one that just works for me. i want the real deal. the eternal, everlasting, all-powerful, mighty, holy, merciful God full of grace and love.

it matters not if you have faith...it matters what you are putting your faith in. put your faith in Jesus...He is the only one who saves. that's it. faith anywhwere else is no faith at all.

what are you putting your faith in today?

love is...

2011-12-31T11:37:00.001+11:00

love is...

what lights our way,

what we all seek,

what we all need.

it's the only thing that can save us.

the one thing,

in all the world

worth fighting for...

it's what makes all that this world offers,

seem worthless.

and all that love offers,

seem pricless...

it reminds us

that love is

the only thing worth dying for,

and the only thing worth living living for.

1 john 4.16 'God is love.'

suss the vid from warren barflield. great song.

much love.

the disciple's walk.

2011-12-22T12:57:00.002+11:00

i shared this with the guys the other night in our disciple class. (what's disciple class? ...learning to be disciples and to make disciples. matt 4.19 matt 28.19)

this is a kind of narrative taken from 4 different scriptures of what i would call a disciple's walk.

a disciples walk.

if you die to yourself,

and follow Me,

(john 12.24-26)

learn to abide in Me, My love, My word

you will bear much fruit,

(john 15.5-5)

and you will find rest,

for My yoke is easy

and My burden is light,

(matt 11.28-30)

and for the one who conquers,

I will grant him to sit on the throne

at the right hand of the Father.

(rev 3.20-21)

it's never a matter of trying harder...of moral striving. God has already come for us...you don't have to reach Him. it's a matter of surrending more. let Him have you.

so good...

2011-12-22T12:46:00.001+11:00

God is so good. for real...just. so. good. i can't begin to imagine how big His grace really is. i look at myself and how much i mess up and the mess that i often feel like i am i turn to God and He reminds me that He loves me...and that i'm His. wow...how can i not love a God who is that good!? a.maze.ing.

amnesia...

2011-11-21T13:37:00.001+11:00

what was i talking about?...um...i forgot. what was it You told me last week, God? um...i forgot. what was the work You did in me last season? geez...i can't remember...i think i suffer from amnesia.

kinda funny right...but true. true of me. and true of you. we suffer from amnesia...a special brand of amnesia called 'christian amnesia'. it's this thing where we are constantly doubting the goodness and reality of God's presence in our lives because we so easily forget the moments that are so real and tend to dwell in the moments that seem dry and lifeless. but here's one point to remember, the moments that seem so real are actually the one's that are, indeed, real...because the truth is (and we understand this as Christians) that we only begin to experience real life when we experience God. when He unveils our eyes. when He shows us His truth. the Truth. so when the times of dryness, and lifelessness do come...and life seems somehow less than it was when we were experiencing Him...well, this is actually, in a very powerful way, proof that He does exist. the lessness of that season shows us how unreal our life is without Him...and in converse to this, how real and more our life is with Him.

now don't misunderstand me...i'm not saying that there are times we aren't with God. but there are times when we are walking in a dimished 'experience' of His presence. and when those times persist, we begin to doubt if, just maybe, all this God stuff is really real at all...did we just imagine it before? did i make it all up? was i tricked or something?

i think the truth is...these 'dry' times are often the times where our faith is refined...stretched...and grown. it's where the roots go deeper. but.......too often these are the times when we forget. the times when our amnesia strikes the hardest. the times when we so easily cease to recall and treasure all that God has done in us, and for us, and spoken to our hearts in seasons past.

right? c'mon...be honest...how quickly do we forget!!

true story...sometimes i forget within hours...minutes! so...what's the solution? not really sure...but recognizing the problem with our hearts is probably the first step... how easily do our hearts go astray?! - so easy!!

but, to think of some practical things...well, here are my suggestions of some things that help me to recall and remember...my tactics for fighting amnesia!!

1 - write. writing down what God speaks to me, or what i experience in different seasons in my life has been one of the most fruitful habits i've developed. this has helped me immensely with my walk. and when i forget...i just go back and read it again and then, 'ahah...that's right!...that moment was real.' or something like that...you get the point.

2 - pray. pray like your life depended on it...because it does. talk to God every chance you get. let me tell you about me...sometimes i get down, frustrated with things, impatient...and instead of going to God, sometimes i waste away in front of the tv watching movies or old episodes of friends while eating oreos and pizza....maybe that sounds like a nice lil' sunday to you. and sometimes it is for me too, don't get me wrong...but when you've experienced the awesome greatness of God's presence, there is nothing, nothing in the world, that compares. and it is this Thing that i want. (see psalm 27.4) so to continue the story...i spent like a whole afternoon on the couch feeling pretty bummed...feeling how unreal God was and feeling down...and finally after pretty much a whole day of this, i went outside, sat on my porch and prayed...and after about five minutes of feeling God light up my heart i sat back and said out loud, 'the five minutes i spent with You was far better than all the hours i spent watching tv.' do you get that? five minutes with God is worth far more than hours of watching tv....truly truly truly, 'one day in His court is worth more than thousand elsewhere.' so to wrap that up...pray often.

3 - talk. talk to other Christians about God. talk to them about what God is doing in their lives and don't forget to listen too. i couldn't begin to tell you how many times a good conversation has stirred up my faith and dispelled any oncoming bout of amnesia.

4 - step out. step out in faith and do something scary. even when you're not feeling it. even when God feels distant and you're wondering if the whole Thing ever was real. step out in faith and try something that you know only God could do. share your faith. pray with someone. give. serve. just step out and try something where you need God to meet you...my experience is that He will.

so those are just a few things...and may seem like pretty ordinary things that every Christian should already know...but maybe you just...forgot? ehem...so let them just be a reminder.

even when...

2011-10-31T17:57:00.001+11:00

even when we are feeling so far from God,

we can still share the love of God with someone else,

and in doing so, remind ourselves...

what are we to make of Jesus Christ? - excerpts from Lewis.

2011-10-11T05:44:00.001+11:00

was reading a bit of lewis this morning and hit these little numbers...two excerpts from God in the Dock in the chapter What are we to make of Jesus Christ?...lewis has a profound way of making truth stand out as, well, truth...

talking about Christ having no parallel in other religions....

On the one side clear, definite moral teaching. On the other, claims which,
if not true, are those of a megalomaniac, compared with who, Hitler was the most sane and humble of
men. There is no half-way house and there is no parallel in other religions. If you had gone to Buddha and asked him "are you the son of Bramah?", he would have said, "My son, you are still in the vale of illusion". If you had gone to Mohammed and asked, "Are you Allah?", he would have rent his clothes and then cut your head off. If you had asked Confucius, "Are you Heaven?", I think he would have probably replied, "Remarks which are not in accordance with nature are in bad taste". The idea of a great moral teacher saying what Christ said is out of the question. In my opinion, the only person who can say that sort of thing is either God or a complete lunatic suffering from that form of delusion which undermines the whole mind of man... We may note in passing that He was never recognised as a mere moral teacher. He did not produce that effect on any of the people who actually met Him. He produced mainly three effects - Hatred - Terror - Adoration. There was no trace of people expressing mild approval.

and then seeking to answer the question 'what then are we to make of this Christ?'

What are we to make of Christ?. There is no question of what we can make of Him, it is entirely a
question of what He intends to make of us. You must accept or reject the story.

The things He says are very different from what any other teacher has said. Others say, "This is the
truth about the Universe. This is the way you ought to go", but He says, "I am the Way and the Truth
and the Life". He says, "No man can reach absolute reality, except through Me". Try to retain your
own life and you will be inevitably ruined. Give yourself away and you will be saved. He says, "If you are ashamed of Me, if, when you hear this call, you turn the other way, I also will look the other way when I come again as God without disguise. If anything whatever is keeping you from God and from Me, whatever it is, throw it away... Come to Me everyone who is carrying a heavy load, I will set that right. Your sins, all of them, are wiped out.. Do not be afraid, I have overcome the whole Universe". That is the issue.

lewis puts things in such a way, that it puts my intellect to rest, from the difficult task of wrestling with my own fleshly desire to fight, at every turn, the truth of Christ, and he equips me to speak to others about the truth of the Son. the Word of God is of course the greatest source for this, but it also helps to have a companion to explain some things a bit further when needed...and his writings are that for me.

enjoy.

never the same way twice.

2011-10-06T13:56:00.000+11:00

wanted to write a little something about faith. so here goes...

i just finished up a walk with my dog. something i try to do often, though he probably thinks i don't do it enough (sorry pup...i'll try to do better...) and often on these little jaunts i talk with God. sometimes it feels like a one way conversation...sometimes it doesn't. this one felt kinda one way. but nonetheless i had some thoughts about faith...and i thought i'd share 'em.

things never happen the same way twice. honestly, they don't. ever. i mean, i can honestly say nothing i've ever done or experienced has ever been exactly the same as i had experienced it before. now that may seem like a pretty dumb epiphany and you might be saying, 'duh, i've always known that...' but hang on a second and take this ride with me...i'll show you what i'm getting at.

i started thinking about Jesus. when you look at Him in scripture...the things He did. how he interacted with people. especially those who he healed. he never healed the same way twice. have you ever noticed that? there was no formula. he healed with a touch. sometimes he just spoke a word. for another he used some spit. still another some mud. he told one man to go wash. one woman just touched his cloak. and other times He prayed. hmm. so think about the implications of that. Jesus didn't set up some sort of ritual, or equation, for how He would heal someone. and that can be echoed with how he interacted with people. taught them. rebuked them. or encouraged them.

so back to the healing part...

here is the epiphany...it seems to be very important and intentional that He didn't set up some specific act or set of acts for how to heal someone. so...what was it that healed them? faith. Jesus' faith? yep. did Jesus have faith in Himself? you ask. well yeah...but His faith was in the Father. so here's what i was thinking...it's by faith that He healed these people...not how He did it. see, He knew His Father was good...and that all things are possible with the Father. so it's almost as if He was like, how can i do something crazy to throw these guys off (those standing around him wide-eyed and gawking at what He was doing) and to teach them that it is by faith that I am healing these people and not My actions....I got it...I'll spit in some mud and rub it on this dude's eyes... and boom, the dude sees.

he never did the same thing twice.

in the narnia stories, at one point, lucy asks aslan something like 'why don't You come back and save us like you did last time?' and aslan's response really hits home for me and it's something like 'because, my dear lucy, things never happen the same way twice.' wow...how important is it for us to remember this. so often i try to do something exactly as i did before expecting the same result. i do this with God all the time and when i do, the Creator of the universe usually comes back at me with something like, 'but Chris, i'm too big and too creative and too good to do the same thing as last time.'

so all this to say what?! well, not sure really...other than there is an amazing God out there who loves us deeply and it's by our faith that we honor and love Him. so press on. and remember...next time it will be different. but have faith, He is with you.

little letters.

2011-09-17T02:51:00.005+10:00

people tend to think, atleast i often do, that God is going to show everyone the same thing at the same time...

but He doesn't.

it's more like this...

imagine a postman, walking down a street handing out letters to each of the people at each of the houses. each of the letters is white, and each is about the same size...the stamps may be different, and of course the street address on each is different, but in general each of them 'looks' pretty much the same.

however, one importand peculiarity is that each is addressed to a specific person. namely the one who recieves it. john gets john's letter. and diane gets diane's letter. john cannot open diane's and diane cannot open john's.

now, at first, one may assume (since all the little white letters 'look' the same, especially from your front porch) that each will read the same thing once opened. but this is just not true. what we find, once we open the envelope, is that each one is, in fact, quite different. some letters are thicker. some are less. some seem quite old and some quite fresh. and really, the differences are endless and infinite. what they are not, are all the same. they are not carbon copies of the last, and most definitely not a massive mailing campaign where everyone gets the same lifeless and impersonal letter addressed to whom it may concern.

what you find that we get is something we can hold in our hands. something only we can see, and feel, and touch. it reads in a language only the one whom it is addressed to can understand. when you are holding your letter, it speaks to you, more than like you are reading it. it's not too short and it's not too long. in fact, it's quite right for you. and could only have been meant for you.

in the end, what we find is the only similarity between john and diane's letters...and mine and yours...is that they are written in the same Hand-writing.

i dare you to read...

2011-09-07T02:57:00.001+10:00

i realize i say a lot about cs lewis and freely admit i love the man and his writing...so i figured i should give anybody who wants it an opportunity to read 'mere christianity', one of lewis' writings and my ultimate go-to (aside from the Word!). love this book. give it a read. sure, some of it is a bit heady...some real intellectual stuff...after all, the dude was all about linguistics! but don't let that stop you. so much truth. so much love. give it a read. decide for yourself.

suss' the link below to download the book in pdf format.

mere christianity book

later dudes!

'miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.'

kids are awesome.

2011-09-03T01:12:00.000+10:00

this has nothing to do with anything, other than kids are awesome and it will put a smile on your face....oh, and Jesus loved the children, so there you go...and i think He liked to laugh too.

enjoy this 24 sec video...and smile.

chan's the man.

2011-08-19T03:38:00.000+10:00

check this sermon from francis chan. God loves us so much guys. so much....

yeah, it's like an hour long...but once you start listening...you won't be able to stop. then you'll wanna listen again.

soul.

2011-08-13T07:47:00.001+10:00

'You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. What you have is a body.' -- CS Lewis

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it's worth it brothers...

2011-08-02T04:13:00.000+10:00

you are dearly loved...

epic.

2011-07-18T09:37:00.003+10:00

just wanted to share a couple pages from the book epic written by john eldredge. he also authored the wild at heart books and the journey of desire. some great ones to give a read.

these are just a couple pages that speak in incredible ways about God and the great Story he has been writing since before creation and before any of us were here...and the amazing thing is...

the story is still going...and we get to be a part of it.

anyway, hope u enjoy this as much as i did and if you do...well then pick up an eldredge book and give it a read.

suss' this link to pick up a copy of the book...

epic. by john eldredge. on amazon.com

the great relationship.

2011-07-07T09:35:00.001+10:00

one of the biggest ways we miss what God has been doing and has been telling us about us and Him and this world for centuries is this...

He is after relationship. We are made for relationship. We were created for relationship. And anything else is missing the point.

The thing is, we have a way of making anything we see as pertaining to God as being religious...as some sort of equation for appeasing God or making ourselves 'good enough' for His love. This is kinda the default option we all go to when trying to figure God out...and ourselves...and our world. But when we do this we are only hurting ourselves. And removing ourselves from what God really desires for us and what we are made for in the first place!

It's easy to see how this happens. We do it all the time in our daily lives...we figure out how a thing works one time and then we repeat it over and over because we know it 'worked' once so now we are going to use it as an equation for getting there. Fast food restaurants on every corner, one after another fad diets, eons of self-help books and so on. Find something that seems to work and streamline it...turn it into an equation to get what you want...and get it easier. Religion is often more like our attempt to make an equation out of God's love and recieve his blessings because we meet some sort of checklist of requirements.

Truth is 'God has written eternity on the hearts of men' (Ecclisastes) and with or without 'religion' man yearns for God.

So when I look into scripture and see what God has put into this heart of mine, what I see is a longing for relationship...both with Him and with others. In fact I love when Jesus says...

'I didn't come for religion. I came for love.'

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that the Church is irrelevant. Not at all. The Church is in fact Christ's living body the world over. It's his hands and feet, arms and legs, toes and fingers! And is the most vibrant, vital part of God's plan here in this world. But what the Church is not (though is confused to be by many, including those within the 'Church') is an institution of religion.

I mean look at Adam. He and God used to walk in the Garden and talk. Just spend time together. There is nothing religious about that. And take the Israelites...here's a people that God chose (the least of the nations) to make His own and to dwell amongst. And take the greatest example of all...Jesus. It's through a personal relationship with Him that we are able to go to the Father. Relationship. Relationship. Relationship.

So as I'm thinking about this what I want to do is take a look and see what makes a relationship? What do you do in a relationship? What does a relationship look like?

Here's a few things I came up with...

In a relationship, you spend time with the person.

You honor them.

You listen to them.

You find out what they like. What they don't.

You learn from them.

You talk to them.

You adore them. (praise them)

You put aside yourself for their benefit.

You trust them.

You give to them.

You walk with them.

You remember them.

You tell others about them.

You seek them.

You give them your best.

You don't hide things from them.

You confide in them.

You rest in them.
You share yourself with them.

and most imporantly...you love them.

There's probably a lot more you can add to that list, but I think you get my point. God desires a relationship with us. Truth is, we don't really get how much he loves us. I mean if the greatest single act of love you can do for a person is to die for them....well, He has already done that for us...hmm...kinda blows ur mind huh? The Creator of the universe loved you so much He died for you...and He wants to have a relationship with you and wants you to know Him. Wow. Incredible stuff.

Let's be done with all the religious nonsense and return to a relationship with our God through His son Jesus and rest in the fact that God has created us to know Him, to love Him and to know His love.

Sounds like a good relationship to me.

that's a fact, jack!

2011-06-07T02:41:00.003+10:00

i used to struggle with the idea of angels and demons and heaven and even the existence of a for-real satan. sure i believed in God and i believed in Jesus, but the other stuff was just hard to grasp at times. i mean, honestly, sometimes it still seems so unreal...but i'm asking for, seeking for and beginning to grasp a deeper understanding of some of this supernatural world.

here's the thing. the kinda crux of the matter...if God is real...our Creator...the creator of this world, the heavens, the galaxies, and every other galaxy for that matter, along with every creature, every 'law' of nature, every person including you and me, and every blade grass under your feet....well then, all the other stuff including satan and heaven and hell are very real too.

it's like this. its easy for us to believe in facts like the law of gravity and 2 plus 2 equals 4. those are easy, they are given....they are proven. (by humans) but here is the thing, God has proven himself over and over to us too. all we need do is look around our lives, or our world, or take a peek in the bible and see a God who is proving himself to an unbelieving world over and over again since he created the thing. so though it takes a supernatural feat to grasp the idea of a God who is outside the laws of our world, the practical truth of the matter is...

God is more fact than the facts that we so easily and completely believe, because it is in fact, God the creator of all things, that created those facts!

so once you begin to grasp that God is a fact and not an idea...then His Word, spoken to us through the bible is fact too...not just some haphazard collection of ideas, some good, some bad...that we can pick and choose what we believe as fact. then we can start to take as fact the other things that His Word tells us are real...very real. like satan, who will stop at nothing to make you believe he doesn't exist. and demons, who do wreak havoc on people's lives. ask someone who has worked in a hospital during a full moon and see if they don't even consider the possibility that this is true. and Heaven and hell. both real. both facts.

so here it is. the question we need to consider. are we going to truly accept and believe what God has been telling us all along?

'for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.'
ephesians 6.12

there is much more to this world than we can see with our eyes and simply acknowledging that God might be real is not enough. He wants to know you and wants you to know Him and once we take into our minds that God is a fact and not an idea, then believing or accepting that these other supernatural things like angels and heaven and satan is really just practical.

if God's real. then He created our world. and He created me. and He created you. then maybe we should listen to Him. He probably knows what He's talking about.

lewis. the man. the myth. the legend.

2011-05-17T04:07:00.006+10:00

i first heard about c.s. lewis as a kid. no doubt, mesmerized by the fantastical world of narnia and the adventures of edward, lucy and the gang. but as i've entered my so-called adult years i have found lewis's readings to be as mesmersizing, if not more so, and quite foundational to my christian beliefs. when i learned that lewis was not only a fictional writer, but also a christian theologian with many writings on christianity and faith and love and on and on, i had to get onto them...to see what this guy, who had brought such amazing worlds to life during my childhood, was saying to me now that i am an adult.

the first book i picked up was mere christianity and i haven't stopped since. admittedly some of the guy's stuff is so intellectual its super hard to digest, but when the mind is thirsty and the heart is willing, the truth just begins to jump off the page...its almost like mining for gold as you pan his words, looking for deeper truths about faith, Jesus, and yourelf.

mere christianity is a book i go back to again and again and i'd suggest anyone who is a christian or is thinking about becoming one or even someone who thinks it all a hoax, should pick up the book and give it a read. it'll be worth it, no matter your current stance. the book was compiled from a series of radio talks lewis had given on the BBC during the latter years of WWII. they came at a time when much britian was reeling from the war and people's hearts were crying out to understand religion and suffering and God. the book has since become a classic and is without a doubt, my favorite companion to the word (the bible).

a friend of mine, pete cave, the shoeless pastor from melbourne, recently sent me a link to the audio for one of these BBC radio talks. i didn't know any still existed and apparently this is the only 14 minute snippet that exists from any of them! i was excited to listen to it and it was definitely a treat.

give it a listen for yourself. lewis will challenge you and enlighten your heart and mind to an awesome God.

audio from lewis' BBC speech

'...give up yourself and you'll find your real self. Lose your life and you'll save it. Submit to death, submit with every fiber of your being and you'll find eternal life. Look for Christ and you'll get Him, and with Him, everything else thrown in. Look for yourself and you'll get only hatred, loneliness, despair, and ruin...' - cs lewis

how could a loving God.....?

2011-03-22T15:43:00.000+11:00

i've heard this question asked a lot. from christians and non-christians alike. i've asked it myself many times. and it goes something like this....

'how could a loving God.....let something so terrible happen.' or 'how could a loving God ...send people to Hell ...allow so much hurt. ...or not make things right.'

maybe those aren't the exact words everytime. but it's always something like that. we look around. at a world gone wrong. terribly wrong. or at our lives. gone terribly wrong. and we turn our fists to God and wonder how He could have allowed something so terrible...so obviously wrong. so 'un-natural' to happen....i got asked this question today when i stepped into a music store in the loop. i went in to check out guitar cases and God presented me the opportunity to speak with a stranger about that very question. i don't wanna admit i was caught off guard by the question, but i was a bit.

as soon as the words 'ministry' come out of my mouth, i get an odd range of responses from people. and sometimes, God places people in our paths...in my path...someone who just maybe He has appointed me to speak into their lives something from Him. maybe this was one of those moments. maybe not. but either way, the question he asked me was one that i sometimes ask myself. 'how can a good, loving God, send people to Hell.'

my respone goes something like this, but i do wanna go into more detail with some thoughts on this difficult question. firstly, i would say that God doesn't really 'send' people to Hell. Hell exists, as does Heaven, and He 'allows' people to choose Hell if they'd rather spend eternity there than Heaven. Hell is most simply an eternity separated from God. and since christians believe our purpose is to live in relationship with our Creator and that our only true, complete fulfillment comes from that relationship, then an eternity separated from Him would be, in fact, just that...hell. imagine an eternity where all you care about is yourself, your way, living selfishly and being forever consumed by your own desires and fruitless pursuits. sounds terrible. on the flip. imagine a forever of living in perfect relationship with the Creator of love, joy and hope. being perfectly secure, content and in full of joy. sounds much better to me.

so on the one hand, the question needs to be flipped...its not 'how could a loving God allow people to go to Hell?'...it's more like 'how good is a loving God, that offers His children an eternity of perfection?' ...i'd say that's an amazing God.

if you take that deeper you've gotta address sin...which was the question on this guy's heart. what he posed to me was this. 'if someone spends most of their life sinning, how is it fair that they spend forever in Hell?...that just doesn't make sense.' which was something like what he said.

the amazing thing about that question is this....we all sin. not one man. not one woman is without sin. God knows this. see we all have choice. a world of pure automata, as cs lewis said, is not a world worth creating. so God created a world with choice. a world where we could have free will. the freedom to choose love. choose God. or choose ourselves. and choose sin. however a God of love is righteously a just God. and even as humans we have an understanding of justice. we all know, if you do something wrong....you pay a cost. that's what our legal systems is for. however our legal system is pretty flawed. His justice system is perfect. sin = death. that's it. we choose sin. we get death. ....but.... here is where the love of our God overcomes even our rebellion. a good, loving God was so taken with us...his rebellious creation...that He made a way for the 'cost' to be paid for our wrongs. since no man is without sin and there are no 'levels' of sin as this guy was thinking...we are all in need of the same grace. the same forgiveness. regardless of our percieved 'amount' of sin, we are all in the same sinking boat. and unless we get out and 'walk on the water' with Christ, then we are going down and will end up where our sin dictates we belong...drowning...and eventually...dead.

so my answer to the question that this stranger asked me is this...He is a loving God...of greater love than we could ever begin to grasp. so loving in fact that He allowed the Son to take our place and carry our sins to the cross so that we don't have to spend eternity in Hell. in fact, by simply placing our faith in the Son, we are forgiven. completely.

now that sounds like a loving God to me. that's perfect love.

a snowy walk.

2011-03-15T04:38:00.001+11:00

there is no one like our God.

just wrapped up a walk in the park with my pup. woke up this morning to view a ground covered with a fresh blanket of snow and the huge, soft flakes still falling and dancing in criss-crossing patterns through my window...knew a walk in the park was in order to enjoy this gorgeous morning God had created. truthfully tho, woke up another morning with a deep angst in my heart. and it was early. again. God seems to wake me early every morning with a gentle call to spend time with Him. sometimes i try to ignore that small voice saying 'come be with Me...abide in Me' just so that i can grab a few more zzz's, but i never feel any more rested by another 30 mins of sleep. but when i rise and open the Word and turn the eyes of my heart to Him, i always walk away strengthened and rested.

your strength comes from the joy of the Lord....how true.

walking with my pup this morn, through a beautiful park, covered in white, making the first footprints of this morning on these snowy paths, i was seeking God's heart...trying not to ask God 'why?'....just seeking His heart. with a prayer of something like 'God, show me Your heart. i wanna give everything to you. i give You the desires of my heart. show me the way.' and i have this tendency to analyze everything. trying to figure it out...as if i can figure out what God is doing or how He's gonna do it....i know nothing. so instead of trying to figure it out and trying to let go of 'why?' i wanted to just seek Him. be with Him. abide in Him.

'sometimes the greatest test comes to us when we ask God the question 'why'?' - billy graham

often we don't get the answers we seek in the time we want them...there is something about patience that i think God really likes. and He will put us through all manner of things so that we learn about this elusive thing. patience...oh how you wear away my flesh, so that the Spirit can come more alive in me.

i learned so much about patience this past season. my time in oz was a perpetual test of patience. learning to wait on God in the midst of darkness. it was not fun. to say the least. quite painful at times and now i find myself waiting again. perhaps this is a recurring theme in our lives...and only in being filled with the Spirit do we bear the times of adversity with perserverance and joy.

isaiah 30. 18 blessed are those who wait for Him... isaiah 30.20 and though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your teacher.

love this scripture from isaiah 30. it has been and still is a light to my feet. it speaks of waiting on God...and the times of suffering as times where the Spirit is 'teaching' us...and refers to the suffering as 'bread' and 'water'. last time i checked bread and water are essential to life. hard to live without either one of those...so just maybe these times of our lives are the most important. most real. most Christ-filled times. when we have no one to turn to but Him, we draw nearer to Him and when we rest in Him we find our real strength. strength that will not fail.

'in the full face of affliction it is hard to see any sense to things that befall us and we want to question the fairness of a faithful God. however, these moments can be the most meaningful of our lives.' - charles hembree

time and time again, God has shown me His faithfulness when i have been able to rest in Him. wait for Him. trust Him in the face of things that make no sense to me and at times truly break my heart. but in those times, He has blessed me. taught me. changed me. healed me. and provided his Spirit to guide me in the moments when i have found myself weak and unsure. but weakness is not a sin. in fact, it seems to be what Christ invites us into. a life of relying on Him. the surrender of our wills. to trust in Him and the life He has for us.

check this. 02 corinthians 12.9 My grace is sufficent for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness. my favorite verse.

anytime i start to justify my Christian walk with works...as if i can earn my way to Him, to life. to love. i remember this verse. its by His grace that i have life. and i want to live from that grace. thats the Christian life. its a free gift. nothing can be earned. which makes it the hardest and the easiest life at the same time. easy because its an absolutely free gift. but hard in that it requires that you give up yourself. your whole self to allow Christ to change you. in any and every way. thats probably why Jesus said you should count the cost before you follow Him but also that His yoke is easy and His burden light. Christianity is both the easiest and hardest thing you can do. its a good thing God offers us His spirit to us to guide us through this messy life.

thank you Father for Your Spirit. i know He is with me. i can feel Him and hear Him. i rest in You the best i know how. i give you my will and my heart and i trust you with the desires of my heart. i don't understand sometims, but i don't have to. i know you are good and i want to stop 'trying' to be a Christian and allow you to do whatever is needed in me to make me in the image of Your son. amen.

i am judas's kiss...but you love me anyway.

it's Your love.

2011-03-12T10:59:00.002+11:00

love is so often thought of only in reference to an emotion...and quite often, emotion does accompany love. but sometimes that is the selfish kind of love. the nature of this type of love wants something from somone else..but agape love 'seeks to make another richer by giving all that it has.'

true love. agape love. ...'is an act of will. and that is why our wills must first be yielded to Christ before we will begin to bear the fruit of love.' billy graham

it's a scary prayer to ask God, 'Father, help me to love like You love.'...because the love of God sent his only Son to a cross for a bunch of rebels that wanted nothing to do with Him. we can't even begin to grasp how much God loves us and the lengths He will go to to show us that love...but its a prayer worth praying...and its powerful. and if you're serious about love. about the kind of love God intends for all of us to know. and to give. then just maybe it's time to turn the eyes or your heart to God and ask Him to help you 'love like He does'....

----------

i'm digging this new brandon heath song 'Your love'. he's coming to the saint charles family arena in a couple months with mercy me. this song just hits my heart. especially the first line 'i felt it first when i was younger, a strange connection with the light'.

check out the song. 'your love.'

check out an interview with him. interview with brandon

praying for our friends in japan.

God bless.

the storm.

2011-03-08T10:32:00.000+11:00

the storm is not His judgement...it's His grace.

sometimes i don't understand.

2011-03-05T11:25:00.000+11:00

honestly...sometimes i just don't understand. i read the Word. i pray and spend time with my Father everyday. i am seeking to serve in ways i never have before. i'm church-planting like a gardener trying to perform open-heart surgery...i dunno what i'm doing...but i'm trying....and as i am starting to refer to Him as Father more and more these days. God works too, but Father is so much more intimate...and it just seems to me that is what He is to me...my Father. i trust Him. (as much as my human-ness allows me too) i ask Him to help me. to heal me. to protect me. to do all the things a good, loving, caring father would do and wants to do...and i follow where He leads me...atleast as much as i can figure out where that is. and i understand that faith is believing in the unseen, yet i am having so many moments where i just don't understand...

even when i seem to be walking in what i believe are His steps for me...i mean, as much as i can see...and i keep repeating that because there is this thing in me that keeps saying 'are you sure you're doing what He wants you to do?? maybe you're not...'...and i don't know where that comes from...i have been rending my heart. and my life. to Him. more than i think i ever have in my life....but i am sitting here just saying 'God, i don't understand....'

i was walking down near the river. a usual spot for me lately. just talking to God. asking for refreshment. and strength. which i'm lacking right now. truth is...well, i've fallen in love. with a girl. a very special girl. and at the moment...i seem to be the only one in love. and it seemed to me this love was from God. i've never prayed so much or rended my heart in this way before. and allowed Him to guide my every step as He has in this past season. and with every ounce of courage and patience and His timing i could discern. i leaped. ...and now.... well, i don't understand. truth is, i'm feeling fairly blind. i can't tell if i leaped and missed...and now i'm tumbling off the cliff and it's all because of the past mistakes i've made because something in my mind keeps reminding me of them...and believe me...there are many. or if i leaped just ask He asked me to....and somehow, someway, i've landed right where He wants me and i just can't see it yet. i hope it's the latter..because right now, i just don't understand....

i feel like asking for prayer...i could use it. thanks.

adventures of a boy.

2011-02-19T17:32:00.002+11:00

stories of a boy and.....trains. cars. people. nature. travel. love. God. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...and who knows what else. felt the need to tell some stories, so i created another site. and its called adventures of a boy.

adventures of a boy.

home.

2011-02-17T06:34:00.004+11:00

home. that word has never meant so much to me. i've been looking forward to home for such a long time...that's not to say i didn't love my time in oz...well most of it...but it was quite honestly the most difficult year of my life. it was a journey of exile and suffering in which God so painstakingly changed my heart. but for that change to take place, my heart needed to be broken...and it was. i have quite a story to tell and i'm working on it now...putting it into a book that just might, someday, will be something someone, somewhere, will wanna read...and just maybe, it will be something special to them too. but either way, it was a special journey to me.

being home now for a couple weeks, i am absolutely sure that my time in oz and my return home was so timely and so 'of God' that it literally makes me laugh at times. even in the midst of the painful journey, God was with me the entire time...even when i couldn't see His hand. and His timing has just blown me away. the timing of so many appointed events was so perfect that i can't begin to explain how it all worked out. but it did. and now being home...this loving God has confirmed to me time and time again that it was time and that i have come home for His purposes. it feels good. really good. and as people ask me 'what are you gonna do now?' and i can't really even say, because just like i didn't know what i went to oz for, i don't know why i've been brought home at this time...but i know its for greater things than i can even pretend to understand. love. life. and God's will. what more is there?

in the final months of my time in oz, when God was bringing to fruition the purposes of my time there and i was church-planting and being led into ministry, i believed i was being trained...prepared for things i would be doing back here in the states. after a teaching by an aussie pastor speaking about nehemiah being 'a man in a foreign country being trained for purposes in his own country' i knew, that was me. and i knew i had to stay there in oz and submit to what God was doing in me and through me until He said 'chris, it's time.' so...in spite of my intense desire to flee home to my family and to those i love..and the one i loved. i had to stay...so i did. waiting on Him to do whatever He needed to do in me.

it was only in the eleventh hour that i could begin to see what God was doing in my heart. i began to fall in love with the shepherd boy spoken of in the bible named david. and i began to see how God was shaping this young boy's heart and preparing him for what was to come. i felt like God was doing that in me. i often felt like my heart was on fire. it was an actual physical feeling of something burning in my chest. for months i felt this way. in the last months before i came home, that burning went away and what took its place was a new heart that yearned so intimately for the love of God and broke so deeply for the brokenness of this world. and with what felt like God's hand on my heart, i stepped out into the unknown and followed wherever He seemed to be leading me...and it was in each of those appointed moments that i exprienced some of the most amazing God moments of my life. whether it was sitting around a cabin sharing hearts with some young boys in need of compassion and love. or spending time with my homeless friends down on bourke. or taking walks and sitting on park benches praying with my friend anneliese. or travelling on a train to the country to meet with pete cav, the shoeless pastor, to start up a church in the heart of the city. to speaking God's Word on my heart to a room full of church-planters and pastors....and on and on and on. so many stories and so many moments. but it was all of God. and i am forever grateful for every second of the refining, painful love that i experienced on the journey.

and now i'm home. with a heart full of love and so ready and so wanting to pour it out and to allow God to use my hands and my heart for His purpose. and i keep thinking about this boy shepherd, this heartbroken musician, turned giant-killer, turned exile, turned king...and his heart. and i ask God to use this heart of mine, for great things...for Jesus.

adam's waiting.

2011-01-03T17:12:00.003+11:00

i've been thinking about the story of adam and eve. and i think even in my first sentence i am already revealing what i've always kind of thought about them...the idea of it being a 'story'. not unlike a children's tale...like uncle remus or whatever. i've never given it all that much thought...however lately, i'm just thinking more and more about them. about what they must of been like...and how amazing, and relational and emotional their story is. i mean look, christians take usually one of two views on adam and eve. the first being that it is a true story about the first man, adam, and the first woman, who was created from that man, named eve...or the second is that of a metaphorical description of how 'mankind' broke relationship with God because of sin..so take whichever one you want...i have my thoughts...but either way, the story is quite beautiful and i want to go into it for a bit and see what is there.

moses says in genesis that adam was the first man. the only man. on the entire face of the earth. think about that. what if you were the only person on the planet?....yikes. but it was good because adam had a perfect relationship with God. he didn't worry about what he was gonna eat, or where he was gonna sleep, or what his hair looked like, or what car he would drive, or if he even had any clothes on! the point is, his entire fulfillment and sense of self came through his relationship with God. and this is amazing because scripture tells us that this is what we were made for....relationship with our maker. pretty cool stuff. so it goes on to say that adam and God used to walk in the garden and talk and have the most intimate relationship. woah...i mean, i talk to God but often i don't feel him there and when i don't feel him i just feel like something's missing. this guy had God with him all the time. lucky dude. so adam is chilling in the garden...which by the way we need to stop thinking of the garden as someone's backyard full of a couple of apple trees, a few animals and one serpent. scripture tells us it was vast...like huge vast. divided up by something like 4 massive rivers and full of thousands if not millions of species of animals. and you know the weather was good because adam didn't even need board shorts...so adam is chilling in the garden and hanging with God and everything is pretty good except that adam is kinda lonely...but he really doesn't know why. God can sense it, and he knows why, but adam doesn't. i mean he is the only human, so he doesn't know what its like to have another human to talk with or share with or hang out with or just sit with....so how would he know that another human is what he needs? all he knows is his soul needs something else to connect to. God knows what adam is feeling, because God made him that way. he made all of us that way. a way in which we all need relationship. we need other people and community and love. we all need someone whom our souls can connect with. its not an accident we feel lonely sometimes, or feel a desire to know someone or fall in love. i mean after all, this is actually what we were made for remember? relationship.

so anyway, God knows adam needs his ezer kenegdo, his help-mate...ezer meaning something like strength and kenegdo is only used once in the scripture. its someting along the lines of perfect, equal fit...so try man's 'perfect fit' from which both are made 'strong'. God knows thats a woman and knows its eve, but he doesn't reveal her to him just yet. instead he gives adam a task...go name all the animals. woah...adam must of been like, 'huh? for real because there is a lot of 'em God....well alright then.' and so adam heads off across the garden naming all the creatures big and small...meanwhile the whole time he feels lonely and he doesn't know why. but yet, he still has this pretty cool relationship with God going on and everything is still going good. let's say it takes him 100 years or so to name somewhere around a million animals or something and then he comes back to God. 'so i got that finished. what else you got for me?' and God says something like, 'that's pretty good for now, why don't you take a nap.' and so adam does.

we'll get into what God does while adam is sleeping, but first i want to get into why God sends adam on the little task of naming the animals all the while he is lonely and needing his ezer kenegdo though he doesn't even know it yet. here is what i think God is doing here. and if we pop over to romans i think it states quite beautifully what happens when we have to wait for something that we really really want...or even need.

'the spirit of God is within us...that is why waiting does not diminish us, any more that waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. we are enlarged in the waiting. we, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. but the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.'

what seems to be happening here is God is helping adam to want eve more, without him even knowing it. like he is being prepared for her. imagine having to wait one hundred years before you even catch a glimps of the one thing in the whole world whom you could share your human soul with. how much would you be yearning and aching for that person?? and once you did finally meet that person, do you think there is any chance in heaven that you would take that person for granted? or not appreciate them? didn't think so. in fact your appreciation, and gratitude and love for that person would be so enlarged that you would treat them as if they were the most important thing in the world. boom. and there it is. that is how we are meant to treat each other. and especially our soul-mate...our ezer kenegdo. i mean if any of us were adam and eve rocked up we would be pretty excited i would think.

but thats exactly what God does when adam is napping. the story goes that God takes one of his ribs and creates eve. this woman who is adams perfect counterpart...the cure for all his ills. a creature that knows love better than he and knows encouragement better than he and knows relationship even better than he. and adam has someone he finally can share his human soul with. i think the dude would be beyond the moon when this woman is strolling through the garden and adam is like, 'woah...check this out. i've never seen anything like this before.' and his soul is probably set on fire and with the first 'hello.' and 'umm...hey.' and a little flutter of the eyelids and adam is in love and his loneliness vanishes.

i'm taken in by this love story. first of God and adam. then adam and eve. then God, adam and eve. that's what makes the fall devestating....but for now i just want to revel in the beauty of this 'story' and enjoy what God is teaching me through it.

bits and pieces.

2010-12-27T13:43:00.004+11:00

my notebooks are filled with bits and pieces of stories, thoughts, songs and scripture. things God has revealed to me and things i've asked of Him. at times i've found myself confused, angry, even yelling at God. other times feeling completely in awe and writing songs or quotes or writing 'thanks God'. sharing some of these things is something God has compelled me to do...to share my heart and my experiences and in that share Christ's love in the hope that it might, just maybe help someone....and now i'm being given the opportunity to begin speaking these same things....and i wonder, God have you been prepraing me all along for something i have just been unable to see? truth is, i dunno. but that's ok. so for as long as God is asking me to step out into vulnerable places and into the unknown with a heart to show people this amazing and underserved Love that i have been so freely given, then i'll keep doing it. trusting that there is purpose behind it that i cannot see. and that's ok with me.

here's a few bits and pieces.

'i'm not asking you to try harder. i'm asking you to surrender...and that takes letting go.' - God

'the universe is so vast and ageless that the life of one man can only be justified by the measure of his sacrifice.'
- young pilot in the RAF just before he went down. c.1940

'belief makes things real / makes things feel / feel alright / belief makes things true / things like you / you and i'
- gavin degraw, belief

'i don't want to lose heart! i want to believe like (wallace) does. i will never be on the wrong side again.'
- robert the bruce, braveheart

'i am after mercy, not religion.' - Jesus

'anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. you're not in the driver's seat, i am. don't run from suffering, embrace it. follow me and i'll show you how. self-help is no help at all. self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.' - Jesus (matthew 16.24-26)

'Jesus is the descent of God to our lives, just as they are, not the ascent of our lives to God, hoping he might approve when he sees how hard we try.' - eugene petersen

'without Christ a man must fail miserably, or succeed even more miserably.' - g. mcdonald

'God thwarts us to save us. we think it will destroy us, but the opposite is true - we must be saved from what really will destroy us.' - john eldridge, wild at heart

'we all desire to live deeper than this shallow world allows us to.'

'if a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.' - galations 2.21

'praise is the mode of love which always has some element of joy in it...don't we in praise somehow enjoy what we praise, however far we are from it?' - cs lewis, a grief observed

'trinian had never dreamed that one of the results of an ape's setting up a false Aslan would be to stop people from believing in the real one.' - cs lewis, the last battle

'but things never happen the same way twice.' - Aslan, cs lewis

absconditus deus, "the God who goes missing" - martin luther

'we must consciously take our eyes off ourselves and our long list of problems and fix them instead on God. faith grows by focusing on God's goodness and greatness and it shrivels when we obsess about our problems.' - pete greig, God on mute

forgive me for adam,
forgive me for eve,
forgive me if i don't believe.
if i could choose again,
i'd choose differently.
i'd never go near
that apple tree.

i believe in the sun, even when it isn't shining
i believe in love even when i am alone
i believe in God even when He is silent
- 1945, Koln, Germany, Jewish believer hiding from gestapo

God sends whales to answer prayers. - larry the whale, paddlewithpurpose.com

that's probably enough for today.

much love in Christ.

testify. [a podcast]

2010-12-18T23:42:00.003+11:00

my response to the question i often am asked by other christians 'when did you become a christian?' is this....'i'm still becoming one.'

Listen to this episode

best to right click and 'save as' the link above to listen to the podcast. or just click the link to go to site.

i was blessed to be able to share my heart and my testimony recently. this was at exchange church last friday night. my hope is that my words were a blessing to some of the people who shared that evening wth me and that it might be an encouragement to anyone who wants to give it a listen. for a boy that used to think he didn't have a testimony, let me just say...we all do. we all experience brokenness at times in our lives and its often in those times that our God draws us nearer to Him, even though in those painful, sometimes tear-filled moments, we cannot see Him.

much love in Christ.

(special thanks to jimmy needham's not without love which i speak at the beginning.)

the night U2 sang at church.

2010-12-06T13:23:00.005+11:00

exchange church was set to go. we had spent the last two weeks setting up our space in the beautiful old exchange building downtown. i was with leo putting the final touches on the setup just a few hours before our doors would open when i got a call from pete 'the barefoot pastor'. "chris we've taken a massive hit." my mind raced over the possibilities of the bad news pete was about to unload on me. we had just come to the conclusion of about 2 months of preparation and work to set up what we were hoping would be the first friday night of a summer filled with music gigs and gospel and whatever else might happen in this building we'd been given. and now, on the night we were officially kicking off, with an untold number of people expected...i was about to hear the bad news that pete had just received. "chris, mate, the lawyers have kicked us out of the building. we can't be there." woah. i hung up the phone and shared the news with leo. bummer. silence.

it's one of those moments when you get some news that is so out of the blue you can't really react. you're just kinda sitting there...a bit numb. what in the world are we gonna do now? do we start making phone calls? tell people not to come? frantically try and find another space? was this a spiritual attack? we were reeling. so step one. pray. then the first decision of many that night...we weren't backing down. and we were gonna put on our event. it was just time to scrap the plan and roll with it.

meanwhile, U2 was filling up a stadium just next door to us and thousands upon thousands were rocking up and packing the streets and nearby train station.

we headed across the street and grabbed a spot on the train station's steps. we waited. what started out as just a few of us grew to ten or fifteen. an about this time we decided to take it down to the peir. we met up by the 'cow in the tree' sculpture in melbourne's docklands. grabbing a spot on the steps, an evening sky was preparing an australian sunset over the bay to the west. and the stadium where U2 was about to play was sitting just a stone's throw to our east and still filling...i was starting to think, this might not be so bad...

despite everything we had planned for that night. 3 bands. music. couches. cafe. speaking. and a space in a building with an atmosphere that would of just been amazing. we now found ourselves outside. on the peir. no electricity. no PA system. minus 3 bands. and a group of people that had grown to around 25, give or take a few. so we took a deep breath. and went for it.

about this time the sun was setting which was a pretty sweet backdrop for our make-shift church on the peir. .

everyone got the scoop on what went down in the last couple hours. no one left. so we kept going. pete played a set on the acoustic. then i spoke. it was all about resonding to God. about moving forward and being faithful even if you don't see where it's leading you. even when the results aren't apparent. starting with a quote by bono 'love is on the move. mercy is on the move. God is on the move.', my heart was saying, we have to keep going. building or no building. even if we don't know where we are going. God is taking us somewhere. and its enough just to respond in faith. and keep going. even if we can't even see the next step...seemed fitting for the moment that was.

barefoot pete followed up with a sermon he prepared using a handful of U2 songs that spoke about Jesus and the gospel. he played a bit on his old acoustic. it was good. a couple guys followed up with quick testimonies and about that time the crowd from inside the stadium grew loud. the noise rushed out of the stadium and over the peir. and U2 started their set.

i closed with a short message about following Jesus and about being real. and genuine. and we all took in the moment for what it was. a beautiful sunset. a U2 concert. church on the peir. a group of beautiful people. and God in the midst of it all.

what had started out as news that could of sent us packing, turned out to be an evening i will never forget. simply by being faithful, we were supremely blessed. things didn't go according to our plans, but anyone who was there that night would tell you it definitely went according to God's plans. the night went better than we could of imagined it.

the night ended with a phone call from 'adam the youth worker', wanting to know how it went. we had spent the afternoon together looking at the space we had intended to use that night and discussing our plans and visions for the future. i filled him in on what went down. then he shared with me some news that just topped off a night which had already been filled with suprises. and blessings....but that news is for another story.

sitting on the steps.

pete on the acoustic.

...did i mention we got into the U2 concert for the encore?? U2 encore video.

U2. encore. glowing rocker.

...thanks for this night God. it was a fantastic disaster.

exclusive religion vs the gospel.

2010-12-02T16:35:00.002+11:00

i had a conversation last night, which is one the i've had a number of times with various people. it was a conversation that had to do with faith and religion and God and Jesus and all that stuff. and it was one between me, a christian (though i find that i don't like using that term, its used so loosely today and doesn't express what it really means to trust in Christ and follow Him, but for now i'll use the term 'christian' for the sake of this writing), and a non-christian (which i would describe as someone who doesn't know Jesus). and it struck me again as i stumbled through the conversation as the guy asked me questions about the exclusivity of religion and whether or not the church that i am a part of starting was an exclusive thing or an inclusive type of church. he expressed how inclusive religion can be and i could see that he had averse feelings to the whole thing....i don't blame him. i do too. but i struggled through the conversation trying to portray the truth of Jesus and the idea that our new church was not an exclusive club, but that it was an inclusive place where all are welcome...but that we indeed will speak the truth of Jesus and not deviate from the gospel. that's what we believe. in the end i invited him to church and told him i'd love to see him there so he can decide for himself and handed him a flyer with times and location so that he wouldn't forget. our conversation ended there and i was left wondering if i'd hurt more than i'd helped...

later on at the end of the night, we parted ways, and then he shook my hand and thanked me and said we would talk real soon. hmm...

this is a conversation that i know many of us have had. on both sides. and we all struggle through it. it's such a sensitive subject. religion. what a mess we've made of it. but this morning i read something that i felt really spells out the difference between religion and all its exclusiveness vs the gospel with Jesus where there are no outsiders. this is an excerpt from 'the message' written by eugene petersen.

'most of us, most of the time, feel left out-misfits. we don't belong. others seem to be so confident, so sure of themselves, "insiders" who know the ropes, old hands in a club from which we are excluded.

one of the ways we have of responding to this is to form our own club, or join one that will have us. here is at least one place where we are "in" and the others "out". the clubs range from informal to formal in gatherings that are variously political, social, cultural, and economic. but the one thing they have in common is the principle of exclusion. identity or worth is achieved by excluding all but the chosen. the terrible price we pay for keeping all those other people out so that we can savor the sweetness of being insiders is a reduction of reality, a shrinkage of life.

nowhere is this price more terrible than when it is paid in the cause of religion. but religion has a long history of doing just that, of reducing the huge mysteries of God to the respectability of club rules, of shrinking the vast human community to a "membership"...but with God there are no outsiders.'

when i think about the 'christian' religions out there...baptist, methodist, presbyterian, catholic, anglican and on and on....i can't help but think 'guys, we're missing the point'. i would challenge anyone to read the gospel and find anything that so much as mentions anything about any of these religions which were founded on 'christianity'??....i'll give you a couple minutes to look..................find anything?.........nope. Jesus didn't come for religion. He came for mercy. He came for love. He came for the lost. not to exclude. but to include. and somehow, someway, the christian faith has been reduced to religion....to a bunch of pharisees.. insiders who have the scoop on God and don't want to share it with the people on the outside...unless of course they decide to become just like you...and me. then they are let into the social clubs of the western church today. we're missing the point.

i realize we walk a delicate line of wanting to be relative to culture while still balancing the gospel as if we are juggling while walking a tight rope. truth is...this is impossible. if you believe in Jesus. then you have to know He is calling us to a radically different life than most of us are living...'christians' included. the gospel is neither exclusive, becuase all are invited, nor inclusive, because few will accept the offer. the idea of 'inclusion' doesn't mean that 'christians' accept everything of the world as ok and begin to look at truth as relative. its actually the opposite. its standing more courageously in the truth and living out the gospel. when the truth is lived and spoken into people's lives, espeically those who are 'outsiders', they are drawn into it. they are thirsty! they secretly want to know more, but people are so often hurt by religion that they confuse religion with Jesus. these are two very different things and my hope is that we...that i...can live out the difference and the next time someone asks me the question about religion vs Jesus...i hope i can speak with love and mercy and see what God sees....a child that He loves and is calling home.

church plant.

2010-11-22T20:22:00.002+11:00

no not some sort of greeny leafy creature that sits on a window sill in the east whoknowswheresville church and soaks up sunlight and sprouts flowers. a church plant is the creation of a new, living, breathing body of people who come together in Christ's love. it's a beginning. it's exciting. and for me it's something i've never been part of. but now i find myself knee deep in the middle of one and the water is quickly rising. before long it may be up to my waist and before long my chin. i better learn to start holding my breath for long periods of time because to be honest, i don't swim that well. i swim kinda lock a rock floats. but i'm ready and willing to pull some floaties up over my arms and doggy paddle my way through this adventure. i don't know how long it will last or what God has in store here. but i can tell one thing. this is purposeful. and the people involved are ready and willing to go where God leads them. something special is happening and it's gonna be a trip. and at least now i know what a church plant is.....and it doesn't come in a flower pot.

this is the building we are starting in.....circa 1950ish. awesome stuff.

kicking things off friday, dec 3rd at 730pm with a dry run and main event on friday, dec 10th at 730pm at 696 bourke street. mail exchange building. 1st floor. enter at spencer street and bourke street corner. right across from main stairs of southern cross station.

calvino city.

2010-11-21T13:45:00.000+11:00

calvino city. from Chris. on Vimeo.

a city story. a film. a building.

one thing leads to another. this is the film inspired by calvino's invisible cities, which led to the writing of my own city story, followed by the creation of a stop-motion film leading to the design of a building, calvino city studio.

brain art competition.

2010-11-19T17:32:00.002+11:00

brain art comp.

grace.

2010-11-18T15:34:00.001+11:00

for what do we owe this gift? this immense gift beyond anything that money, power or fame can buy...yet it's free. abolutely and completely free. it's such an overwhelming thing that we have a hard time even accepting it...thinking we even deserve it....well, we don't deserve it...but that's what makes it all the more amazing. amazing grace is not just a song in a hymnal about a some distant God who does good things for us if we are good enough and make it to church on most sundays...no, we are so blind...we are missing the whole point. it's about the immensity of a deeply personal God who loves us so much that He is willing to do anything...absolutely anything...including giving up His Son...including destroying our lives in order to save us from ourselves....so that we can experience the life that He has for us...a life that is free from the lies we tell ourselves, the hurt we cause others, the loneliness of existence and the monotonous of living out a life of selfish pursuits. grace is free. and its beautiful. and all we have to do is accept it.

family dinner. a short film about one good night.

2010-10-07T21:06:00.000+11:00

family dinner. on vimeo.

family dinner. from Chris. on Vimeo.

one fateful night in september of 2010, a small group of friends and family gathered together for a nice quiet dinner at the prince albert. this is the story of what happened.

check out my films on vimeo. http://vimeo.com/micgoonie

new stills.

2010-10-05T14:23:00.000+11:00

this is what a sunset looks like in the outback. nice.

check a few more new stills here. www.flickr.com/photos/gooniepics/

citysessions. lonely city.

2010-09-09T18:09:00.001+10:00

citysessions. lonely city. from Chris. on Vimeo.

another short film.

even in a big city. it can get lonely. sometimes its the people that are forgotten. sometimes its the city.

thx to craig and the pirate doctor 007 (and of course his pup cookie monster) for allowing me to shoot some stills of them. both these guys are homeless. both have stories. hopefully i managed to capture a small part of that.

check all my films at vimeo www.vimeo.com/micgoonie

new stills.

2010-09-03T15:07:00.001+10:00

new stills. check the rest on flickr.

and yeah...there's no photoshopping here. just the real deal.

vimeo. vimeo. vimeo.

2010-08-27T15:55:00.003+10:00

i'm posting my videos and films on vimeo now. happy to be making the jump. i think it will be good. take a peek at my newest video. hopefully as i get better at this the videos will get better too.

link to the video. citysessions. the street.

citysessions. the streets. from Chris. on Vimeo.

world nomads travel photography scholarship.

2010-08-19T19:37:00.000+10:00

link to world nomads.

like photography? like to travel? suss this....

invisible cities. early draft. temporan.

2010-08-19T19:12:00.004+10:00

this is an early draft of the city story which i have written for my master's studio 'writing the city'. reading calvino's 'invisible cities' we are to create our own city story from which we will work out an art piece and eventually a building. this is an early draft of my city story.

link to info about book.

and now, the story.

as you step out of the wood and onto the streets of temporan, the great sequoias and tall pines of yesterday’s journey are replaced by towers of stone, concrete and metal forming a new, more cosmopolitan sort of forest. your eyes wander over the choices before you...so many streets. but you must choose one. and since any street will do, you choose and begin walking. quickly one street leads to another…and that one to another…each getting smaller and smaller. perhaps it is you that is just getting bigger?..becoming more and more familiar?..more and more at ease in this new world with each step taken?

‘how quickly the sun sets here in temporan.’ this is the thought you have as you look upon a sun, weary now from shining down upon an ungrateful city, as it sets to rest beyond the towers…and then beyond the great trees.

shortly you find a spot in the grass just near the theatre of temporan to sit and watch the city as it breathes to life. the curtain draws. the streetlights buzz on…and shortly ease into a soft hum as if alerting the city-dwellers that its now safe to come out and play. on cue, the players spill out of the towers and onto the streets. sidewalks. and grass.

city trains rumble past, shaking the ground like they do. around you now others sit. talking. laughing. smiling. speaking languages unknown to you. some of the younger temporans roll by on skateboards hopping sewer grates and pumping for more speed. everyone, dressed up and dressed down, walk the streets at a feverish place. they all have somewhere else to be. they all have their part to play.

lights through windows of nearby towers twinkle and illuminate the night sky like a thousand fireflies frozen in time. occasionally one burns out and is reborn elsewhere. a soft rain now begins to fall hastening the footsteps of the passersby.

laughs. giggles. horns. shuffling feet. and whirring engines begin a nightly performance. this is the symphony of the city. the melody plays on your soul as you drift into sleep. dreaming of great trees and towers and far-off places. the rest is needed…and it is good.

in the morning you awaken by the warmth of a renewed sun rising from behind the trees and over the towers. the ground around you begins to warm as you rub the sleep from your eyes. looking around now the streets seem far less exotic…far less interesting. and you wonder if the memory you have of this city being so alive is only a phantom of your imagination. you rise and take a few steps feeling oddly unsatisfied. yearning now for some other place…yet you know now what that is.

some new stuff.

2010-08-06T17:20:00.000+10:00

uploaded some new shots. click here and take a look.

the city's on my doorstep.

2010-08-06T16:51:00.000+10:00

every morning i step out to this. a city alive and vibrant.

at the corner of bourke and exhibition.

i live above the laurastar shop.

welcome to oz.

a weary soul. through the refining process.

2010-07-27T19:21:00.000+10:00

so as i make this journey. this adventure. this thing that seems at times like some sort of test. or maybe a refining process...thru the fires...thru the smelting process that turns a hunk of metal into something more precious and pure. i guess i could say i'm learning about myself and growing as a person, but that sounds so cliche'. and so far from the truth. i've gotta be honest and open up my heart. cuz' i know i'm not the only one in the fire. if you don't know what i mean, that's ok, it just means you're not there...so it'd be better to stop reading or this probably won't make any sense to you.

augustine said 'give me a man who yearns, give me one who is hungry, give me one who is far away in the desert who is thirsty and sighs for the spring of the Eternal Country. give me that sort of man, he knows what i mean.'....something like that i suppose. and i'm thirsty, so thirsty. there is this myth going around, that exists even in me i think, like a mean trick that has fooled me. and the myth is this, that Christrianity, once you've found it...found Jesus...well that's when life gets easier, when things will work out the way you want them to...the way you believe. nobody says that it gets harder. much harder. there is no warning that says 'hey, before you choose this life you need to know that you are gonna have to give up everything that's ever mattered to you. and when the scripture says that the old you dies...no, no...that's not a joke...like for real...and it's the most painful process you will ever experience. anyway, just thought you should know. but hey, in the end, it's worth it.' to be honest, something like that would be a truer explanation of what it's like. i mean even Jesus says 'mark my words...anyone who gives up house, home, brothers, sisters, land, whatever for Me and the Message will get it all back many times over....but also trouble.' funny how they always leave out the last part. this journey isn't for the faint of heart. but it is for the broken heart. and the weary soul who has come to see that this world is broken. and so are we. and that which we seek, what we are made for is just not here. and while it is a simple choice. yes or no. to believe or not to believe. getting there and living out that belief becomes supremely difficult. especially when you begin to see that it requires everything of you. its all or nothing. to be lukewarm is the worst thing to be. and that's where so many of us live. lukewarm. its accepting the whole Gospel. or none of it. and when you begin to see what that requires of you...the whole part about surrender...the laying down of your will...well let's just say that for me, is quite honestly, the most painful experience of my life. only because i dreamed. desired and believed so intensely. so perfectly of what i wanted to do with my life...is letting go so damn hard. and i've been holding on so tightly for so long. but like i said, if you don't understand, that's ok, you're just not there...give me that man in the desert with a heart like mine...he understands. and it is he that i'm hopefully speaking to.

when i think of my Walk...and when i say 'Walk', i guess i mean the life that i've had since i first became a Christian way back around 12 years old or something to when i truly began to know Christ personally just a few short years ago and on to now. and i think to myself how difficult it has been, and how i still struggle. struggle mightily. how faith has defined my life in some way or another for so long. yet in the same breath how my faith waivers so greatly...resulting from and fueling many of the mistakes...the choices i've made along the way. but i suppose i say this to share a wounded heart. to admit that i'm broken. and living in a broken world. and being a Christian...choosing Christ, over the world, is the most difficult path i've ever walked. it wasn't the initial choice that was so hard. it's all that comes after it. it's like the old saying 'be careful what you ask for'....once you let Him in, you get the whole deal, and that can be a very painful process at times. every ounce of selfish desire, pride, self-conceit, vanity, greed and every other little bit of sinful nature that you don't even know exists within you is going to be cut out of you in that refining process. and you will fight. struggle. and strive to hold onto those things that seem so important. you will hold on for dear life. atleast i do. but then i remember the words of CS Lewis 'that a thing will never truly live until it first dies'...well he was quoting the words of Jesus, so i should give credit where credit is due. but thanks for the reminder Lewis. the point is, these things that we hold so tightly to, that i hold so tightly to, are the very things that keep us so bound up. so burdened. and so far from Jesus's heart. it is these things that have to die. so then, and only then, we can have the freedom. the healing. the hope that is offered in Christ. and i want that. so desperately. i just never thought i'd have to give up so much to get it. therein lies my struggle. and, oh yes, i do struggle. i want so much more out of this life. my heart wants so much more. and i don't think i'm the only one. fulfillment...oh how you escape me. and in that dissappointment, hearts are broken. mine has been. yet in this broken heart i turn to Jesus and surrender. relying on the only One who both asks this of me and heals me from it. i admit that i'm not there yet. maybe 'there' is not on this side of eternity?? but in my more faith-filled moments i can see it off in the distance. that place where we all want to be. where i want to be. where our hearts are healed and there is rest for the weary soul.

so far from my home.

2010-07-11T02:59:00.000+10:00

i'm so far from home. unbound and alone, in seas of faceless places i roam. still looking for that golden road. the light that's shown is not my own. but inspite of this i keep going. so i walk, into the night. i don't back down from the fight. tho its not fair, i close my eyes, i raise my fists, and i punch the air. i open my eyes, and no one's there. i guess what i seek is beyond my reach. far too real for me to speak. still i trek into the deep. further and further from my home. in search of what i may never own.

13thwitness....suss some vids.

2010-07-11T02:57:00.000+10:00

i stumbled across this guy's videos. love it. dope stuff. take a peek and see what you think.

13thwitness.

been a while

2010-07-08T18:59:00.000+10:00

haven't posted in a while. guess i just wanted to check if this thing still works. look like it does. i've got some catching up to do.

a warrior.

2010-04-26T19:25:00.000+10:00

'a mercenary fights for pay,
for his own benefits,
his life devoted to himself.
the quality of a true warrior
is that he is in service to a purpose
greater than himself.'

'every man is a warrior inside.
but the choice to fight is his own.'
- 9yr old boy.
...and a child shall lead them.

dayTHREE. great ocean road.

2010-04-19T01:46:00.019+10:00

last night on the road. last night schlepping in the van. last hoorah for me 'n shroomy. in the morn' i leave out of lorne and head back home to melbs. lorne is where i'm crashing tonight. make my way back along a twisty. turny. ocean road earlier this eve. better part of the last couple hours in the dark. and the rain. kinda sketchy driving at some points. kinda fun too. some pretty sheer drop offs 'round a few those turns. def got the adrenaline going a bit. but i'm in lorne now. and its my last evening on the ocean road. i'm eating out. nice dinner. seafood. and of course a bottle of vino. did a couple of laps around town looking for a good spot. decided on the twinkling lights in the distance. the pier restaurant. and its locale fits its name. nestled on the edge of lorne bay. just off the pier. waves crashing. people chatting. pans 'n dishes clanging in the kitchen. and i'm sitting outside. just off the shoreline. looking over the pier. hovering elegantly over the bay. the lights of lorne curling along the shoreline in the distance. a few late night fisherman dot the pier and an occasional pair of headlights travel in the distance across the horizon. and i'm dining. clams. mussels. prawns. oysters. calimari. oh and crab legs. careful, you're drooling. yeah its nice. fitting tribute to my experiences on this trip. and i have yet to tell the story of today.....woops. got a lil spatter from the crab legs on my paper. gotta watch those guys. they can get away from ya.

a friend told me 'there is no reality other than the present moment.' and this moment is good. next the story of today. but first...dessert.

a day of the apostles.
i left out of apollo bay this morn. what a gorgeuous mornin'. the warmth of the sun thru the van's windshield woke me. rub the sleepers from my eyes. on with the board shorts. flip flops and a towel. 30 paces to the beach. crystal clear ocean water. surrounded by lush green hills. big hills. like mini mountains. a few kids playin' in the surf. couple other backpackers heading for the beach. a few locals. and me. yes, its gonna be a good day. a nice stretch in the sand. a quick workout and jog down the beach. one very quick dip in the cold ocean. a bowl of cereal. and i hit the road to the apostles. boy did i not know what was in store for me today.....you would think i would know that an ocean road. especially a 'great' one. would be windy and hilly? even scary? i was not anticipating the windiness. or the hilliness that ensued over the next couple hours. good thing shroomy handles like an italian sports car. not to mention built like a german tank. each turn offered glimpses of an ever changing horizon. revealing gorgeous views of ocean coastline. sheer cliffs. green hillsides. fantastic beaches. and some incredible wildlife. i found myself saying 'wow, not gonna top that' only to say the same thing around the next bend. i had planned on hitting the tree top walk 'bout halfway there, but somehow missed all the signs. supposed to be very swiss family robinson. dang. every kids dream. all well. a reason to come back. i moved on along. radio on blast. ipod shuffle all. kanye. jack johnson. garth. cooleyhighharmony. hova. gavin. frank. and the rest of the crew. the road diverges from the coastline for a stretch and takes you thru the otway national park. rainforest. at times the tree lines open up and reveal amazing, sweeping views of the green rolling hills, complete with grazing sheep. cattle. and lazily rolling streams. this stuff is straight outta storybooks. i fight the urge to stop and take pics every 15 minutes. by and by i end up at my destination. the 12 apostles.

words aren't adequate to describe the next few hours. but certainly worth a try....
it wasn't a beautiful sun-shiney day. it was an even more beautiful rainy day. which was perfect. i love rainy days. its refreshing. cleansing. i like playing in the rain. what can i say, it just makes me feel good. plus it kept the tourists away. so at times i had the apostles and beaches all to myself...my first glimpse of these guys came from the tourist lookout. impressive. fairly spectacular to be honest. perched up top of massive sandstone cliffs were lookouts which offered views of the coastline and a handful of the apostles. story goes that only 8 or 9 or the original 12 are still standing. well i couldn't see all of them anyway. so what would i know? but the ones i could see were incredible. just massive heaps of rock rising out of the sea. worn away by centuries of the ocean working these natural monuments like pieces of sculpture. there is no greater artist than nature herself. though part of me wondered. there has to be more to these guys than this...maybe i'll explore a lil' further on down the road. get off the beaten path a lil'...there was more. much. so me. my camera. my now very dirty tennies. and my soaked hoodie. left shroomy in the parking lot and ventured off into the labyrinth of trails. into the unknown. into the world around these magnificent apostles. and it just kept getting better. and better...

3 hours of exploring various trails. cliffsides. cinematic lookouts. natural wonders. caves. and yes, even a graveyard led me to this...

as i cleared the hill and made my way down the old steps carved into the hillside, the scenery began to reveal to me the adventure in store. i began to sense a feeling of excitement rising up from somewhere inside me. i wonder if this is what it would have felt like to have been a great early explorer. the first time he laid eyes on a new land. uncharted. the discovery of something new. the grand canyon. colombus and the americas. any deep ocean treasure hunter. sure i wasn't the first person to explore this beach. these cliffs. maybe not even the first person today. but at this moment. here and now. i was the only one here. and it felt like i was the first. and that was exciting. this is where the real adventure was. down among the apostles. not viewing them from the safety of some perch high up on a hill. no. down among them. where you get a sense of the power of the waves that shaped these creatures. where you experience the massive force of the ocean. every few seconds another wave comes crackling along the cliff side tearing into the sandstone and down onto this short stretch of beach. sign says 'beach not safe for swimming'. hah. no kidding. here it all makes sense. i mean how the apostles were made. magnificent power. destructive and creative in one. it was awesome. i wanted to explore more. so i did. walking the shoreline to where the cliffs began to rise above the sea level. i climbed. the rocks levelled off and i walked. excitement growing. mixed with a healthy dose of fear. anticipating the next discovery. taking pics. rain still falling. realizing the danger, but continuing anyway. taking care of my movements. to the edge. to the top. around and through. i felt the moment from every angle i could get to. when i couldn't go any further. i climbed higher. or through. or deeper. there was more to see. and each turn brought new discovery. new stimulation. visually. the sounds. smells. fresh. wet. cold. hard rock. salty water. mud. sand. it was like exploring another world. i could of been on mars for all i knew. at that moment i felt like the only person in the world. at least in this small part of the world. a small, slippery trail rose up and over an impassible part of the cliffside. scarily close to 30m clear drop to the rocky bay below pounded by a mix of swirling currents and waves. i climbed it and the other the side offered up some special views of the rocky inlet. 200m across. the waves peeling around the rockface before crashing into the rockface below. the rain and mud on my shoes made it fairly slippery on the rock. but worth it for the view. and more so for the sense of adventure this moment had brought me.

i think we all desire adventure. and sometimes we must pursure that desire simply for the sake of adventure itself.

i found my way back across the same trail. there was no other way out. i looked. all the same it was better that i face my fear and make my way along the same trail that brought me here. after all, its an adventure right? i made it. and then i climbed atop one of the massive creatures. as if to ride it out to sea. was this an apostle? i had no way of knowing. but as i stood there i could feel the rumble of the waves crash against this mammoth rock. the larger waves crawling up the rockface and spraying over the top. and i looked arond taking in the moment. now this was it. the way to experience the apostles. in all the power. and beauty. and magnificence. for the sake of adventure. it was worth it.

who is He?

2010-04-15T21:14:00.001+10:00

video by studentlife for campus outreach. studentlife is a christian organization in melbourne that is a bit like campus crusade back home. they just spread Christ's love. simple as that.

kinda funny seeing me in it, but it's a cool video i think.

who is He? video

my favorite spot.

2010-04-15T20:56:00.000+10:00

just off swantston. near central. sitting near the greens of the state library. i find myself here more than any other place in melbourne. not sure why. maybe because its so close to where i catch my train home after a day at school. i often find myself unable to just hop on the train and leave the city. something always beckons me to stay. as if the city has a voice and asks me to stay just a bit longer. so i linger. maybe its the people walking about. maybe its the sounds of the city. trams rolling 'n screeching as they slow to pick up a rush of passengers. taxi's busily prowling the streets in search of that killer fare. bicycles 'n skateboards with their distinct clunck cl'clunck. maybe its the lights from the scrolling marquees and shops and restaurants. maybe it's the smells. from places like nando's. hungy jack's. and of course subway. dang that 12 inch turkey 'n ham was good. lil' honey mustard. just right. maybe it's the cool evening air. or the way the city comes alive when the sun goes down. yeah that's it. that pulsing that happens when the night is taking shape and everyone is tucking in for the evening. or just heading out for the night. tonight there was no amazing revelation. no poetic words to write. just a good nite to sit. and enjoy the city. observe. people watch. and engage in the life taking place around me. from across the way a young kid floats 'more than words' from over the street as his voice echoes around the cavern of city buildings. he sounds good. one of my favorite songs. i get a whiff of a cigar as two older asian gentlemen stroll leisurely by. a young woman interrupts my writing to ask for a couple dollars for dinner. i pass her a couple. and she moves on. 2 girls sit cozily on a park bench across the way. chatting 'n giggling. and people walk by. groups of 2. 3. 5. holding hands. laughing. some strolling 'n some in a rush. carrying shopping bags. backpacks. mcdonald's bags. a group of young indian girls stroll by and take a seat in the grass nearby. ice cream cones in hand. laughing. speaking words unknown to me. i guess i'm not the only one who likes this spot. hmm...i could go for some ice cream. i think i will....as john lennon's 'dreamer' echoes from across the way.

[dayTHREE. great ocean road. i'm write about my day three soon]

dayTWO. great ocean road.

2010-04-12T21:15:00.004+10:00

night two. after last night's semi-succesful road side back of the van sorta sleep but not really adventure i am attempting to have a more pleasant experience in apollo bay. really tho, it wasn't half bad. except for the dude that got his kicks by waking me up at quarter 'til four in the morn by blasting his horn and flashing his headlights 'bout 8 feet from my van door. that was not a pleasant way to wake up in a strange place. i didn't know what was going on. was it my horn? was it the cops? was it the torquay surfer mafia? nope....just somebody playing a joke. all well. another one for the books. day 2 went like this...

drive. see something cool. stop. look at something cool up close. take pics of that something cool. discover something else even cooler. take pics. drive. rinse. repeat. prob made 6 or 7 stops today. including a gorgeous hilltop lighthouse. a trek through rainforest to a waterfall. somewhat wimpy waterfall to be honest. but hey it was a waterfall. and it was a rainforest. marks for trying. stopped in anglesse. walked barefoot on some beautiful beaches. went to work on some shopping in the town of lorne. which would later turn out to be the thorn in the side of my awesome van. and apollo bay. where i will kick it tonight. thankfully i'm parked near some fellow 'vannies'. so atleast i feel a bit more at ease that no jokers will 'take a piss', as the aussie say, at me tonight. anybody wanna go 'vanning'? you know where you drive around in a van...scrubs? anyone? eh...i got a laugh out of it. back on track. met some fellow travelers earlier this eve. actually saw the same dudes back in torquay. 4 dudes. 2 austrians. 1 french dude. and 1 irish guy. he was the coolest. by far best accent. [on a side note i spent about 4 hours the next day working on my irish accent after my ipod died and i had a lot of driving to do....it's getting good. i'm just saying.] so the guys were all down from melby. turns out we're neighbors. we shared a couple beers and talked about our travels. all exagerrating this and that. making each of our travels sound more grand and more exciting than they may have actually been. funny that everybody does that. all well. good convo. probably catch up with the guys back home sometime. oh and the irish dude is the coach for the U-15 aussie sailing team. that was pretty cool. might have to hit him up for some sailing. also met a dude named sven. the semi-permanent backpacker from germany, who's been hanging in apollo bay for a couple months. he invited us all to the local watering hole. busy place. about 8 people. including us. the barkeep. and one very drunk. shoeless. shirtless. dancing. aussie man. awesome. only in australia. when i'd seen enough i found my way to a nice lil' spot near the beach. parked shroomy. went to work on 2 bowls of the aussie version of honeycomb. and now its bedtime...zzz....

here's a peek at my day.

it's been a good day. time for a good night's rest...zzz

dayONE. great ocean road.

2010-04-10T21:51:00.003+10:00

torquay. surfer town. the starting line for the great ocean road. its night now. i'm laying in my maxed out 'wicked' camper. http://www.wickedcampers.com.au/. good stuff. check 'em out. they are all over the world. i arrived earlier this eve. just after sunset. popped around to a few different eateries before settling on one. chicken parmy 'n a stella. not too bad. i was hoping to meet some locals 'n strike up a convo, but no luck. so here i sit. writing. munching on a PBJ. minus the J. plus banana. and trying to put pen to paper to describe this experience. i'll give it my best shot. let me tell you about the walk i just took on the beach...

i don't know if i ever really realized it or not. but a beach is kind of a scary place at night. imagine with me what its like. to be on a stretch of beach by yourself. the sun has set. there's the moon. stars are scattered about like freckles on the sky. look out over the water and all you see is black. deep black. you can't tell where the ocean ends and the horizon starts. crash after crash the waves pound the shore as the tide comes in. and you get that sound. that roar. of the ocean breathing. in and out. in and out. the waves are relentless. you can feel the power of the ocean when you stand so near it. alone. you can feel the cool spray. and smell the wetness. the freshness. and somewhere in the back of your mind you just know. just one rogue wave. and you'd be gone. pulled in. snatched up by the ocean. swallowed up into the deep endless black. but there you stand. in spite of that thought. of that fear. because even though it is scary. it is also so beautiful.

as i stood there. experiencing the moment that was. i began to see the intimacies with this moment and with life. how scary life can be sometimes. how at times we feel so alone. and so unsure. the crash of one wave after another upon us. near us. closing in. relentlessly. its as if that big. vast. powerful. scary ocean is life. its the unknown. every fear we ever had. or will have. but its just that same thing. that same unknown. which also makes life so beautiful. the excitement. the thrill of what's coming next. of not knowing everything. of the joy of the spontaneous freedom of life. as i made these realizations in a conversation with God. it was just me and Him on that beach. no one else in sight. i realized i hadn't yet felt the ocean on my skin since i had been in oz. seemed like now was the time. so of course my fear went into overdrive. you mean i am gonna step out into this unknown. scary. vast. dark ocean? this ocean that could swallow me up and no one would ever know?? yep. i was going in. to feel the cool water. the spray. the power of the waves. to hear the roar from the inside. to be in it. not just standing back looking at it. its scary, yes. but its even more beautiful when you're in it. hard to tell if i'm even talking about the ocean right now. but i don't think it matters. because as i stepped into that ocean. i realized. with God. this whole thing becomes a lil' less scary. and a lot more beautiful.

[water is powerful. scary powerful. especially amidst all the recent destruction and tragedy caused, fully or in part, by the forces of water. katrina. tsunami after trunami. flooding. yet it is this same water. covering about 3/4 of the earth's suface. that is the essence of life. gave birth to life. without water. life is not possible. so yes. it is powerful.]

i'm off!

2010-04-07T14:12:00.000+10:00

great ocean road. here we come! by 'we' i mean me and shroomy. see below.

see ya melby! i'll be back...well, whenever i get back! i look forward to sharing my stories with you all.

'til next time.

the inbetween.

2010-04-05T16:54:00.008+10:00

where the unconscious moves. where unintended purposes accidentally and gracefully weave in and out...along...behind...and within man's attempts at triumph and beauty. all the while missing that these times and spaces of inbetween are quite often the most real and most beautiful of our lives.

copy n paste. www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWU2PpJyagU

coming alive.

2010-04-03T14:53:00.003+11:00

stuck. confusion. frustration. pain. weakness. what other words could i use to describe how i feel right now. even a trip to the other side of the world doesn't solve this riddle. isaiah 30:18ish, 'you ride off on fast horses but do you think your pursuers ride old nags?' they don't. they ride fast horses. faster than mine i think. so it's beyond me. the answers, i mean. there is only one thing left for me to do. which is what i meant to do all along. sometimes well, sometimes not so, but i mean to try. i want to. i have to. there is no other way. isaiah 30:15ish, 'your strength will come from settling down, in complete dependence on me. the very thing you've been unwilling to do.' so i surrender control. willingly and as completely as i know. in exchange for adventure. uncertainty. wilderness. from this, my true self. true heart. true desires will come alive. there is no other way.

'don't ask yourself what the world needs. ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.'

urban design studio presentation.

2010-03-26T10:51:00.003+11:00

no words. as in we couldn't use words to present our analysis of our site for urban design studio. so chet, wie, sebastian and yours truly created this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH4OnSp41M8

take a peek. quick 2 min.

architecture can be fun. no joke. wish it was all that way!

this urge.

2010-03-25T23:43:00.007+11:00

i've always had this urge.
this notion, within me, to take the path less travelled.
i don't know why really.
i suppose everyone may have the same thing inside them.
but i don't know them. i know me.
and i have it for sure.
maybe it's akin to an addiction. something that i've developed.
but like a good addiction.
once you've experienced the way it feels. you want more.
to go deeper 'n deeper into the opposite direction of everyone else.
not because i wanna be alone, but because i want to write my own story.
my own adventure.
when people look at art. i want to touch it.
when people listen to music. i want to feel it.
yet at the same time. i want to bring them along.
to inspire. to show them what it's like.
to take a journey. a chance. and go your own way.
to escape the fear of being different.
of doing things different. of dreaming.
i'd venture to guess. the greatest names in our history books.
the people who changed the world. who inspire.
didn't go right either. they went left.
forgive me if its too ambitious. or arrogant.
but i wanna go left too.
because doing things different. taking the unbeaten, less-travelled path.
writing your own story.
is the only way to change the world.
in your own way.
i guess i'm just glad i have the urge.

blessed music.

2010-03-22T23:40:00.003+11:00

if i could sing. i would sing this music.
http://www.myspace.com/sharifiman
check 'new york'
my fave is 'good man', but its not on myspace.
try limewire or something like that. i am in no way endorsing music piracy of course ;-).

the train @ nite.

2010-03-22T23:12:00.003+11:00

the train @ nite.
is different when the sun goes down.
the people are different, moreover,
the same people change.
their motives, their actions.
they way they dress, speak...and smell.
whey do they ride?
to get to a pub, restaurant, movie?
perhaps a friend's house, or
maybe an underground party?
seeking mischief, or
avoiding it?

why do i ride?
to study.
to think.
to listen, to explore. to get away.
to find something.
to lose something else.
we all sit alone. apart.
but ride together.
each in our own world.
discussing in our minds,
what the next person is thinking, doing.
and why they are riding @ nite.

we make assumptions,
and draw conclusions.
but never know the truth.

a glance and i lock eyes with a pretty girl.
if only for a moment.
why does she ride?
to meet me?
i'll never know.

where is the night train going?
it really doesn't matter.
the destination is not the destination.
just get on one.
and take a ride.
see where it takes you.

during the day you look out.
at what you're passing.
@ nite, you can only look in.
the black swallows up the outside.
and the flourescents inside illuminate within.
we are on display.
in a rolling cage.

take a train @ nite.
to experience what its like.
to be seen.
to see.
to know the difference.
your are no longer the train rider.
you are now the performer.
and the observer.

some laugh.
some cry.
some read. some write.
others talk, still others withdraw.
some stare into the black.
seeing only what is in their mind.
others look within.
the train.
themselves.
and we all decide inside,
about each of the others.
all on the same ride.
each of our own reasons.
each subject to the other's assumptions.
making our way through the nite.
on the same train.

typical day.

2010-03-21T14:02:00.005+11:00

so what is a typical day for me in melby?...i'll tell ya.

9:30. wake up. friday morn. jeans, tee n sneakers. grab a banana, my sunglasses n my ipod. gotta make an 11ociock tute...tute is apparently what they call a tutorial...they shorten everything here...take a walk to glenferrie station. runnin' a bit late. being on time is relative here, which works for me. never was big on the whole 'on time' thing anyway. arrive at the station. train doors closing. dang. missed it. sit n wait for the 10:26. a good day for coldplay.

11:15. 1 train, 1 tram 'n a 5 minute walk later and i'm sitting in my tute...15 late...discussing sustainability with kids from malaysia, korea, canada, hong kong, china, japan and others i probably can't pronounce. a 2 hour tute of which parts i love 'n parts i hate. i ask myself 'why am i even in school?' followed up with 'i love this'. seems to be the running theme for me with school these days. it's a thin line right? ya know, between love 'n hate...

1:00. tute ends. gotta meet up with my studio group. chet and wie. one dude's from london. the other's asian, but lives in melby. we grab lunch to discuss our site analysis research and determine how we are going to present our ideas. no words. i mean, we can't use words in our presentation. so we consider other options. drawings? video? performance? mime'ing? i dunno. we toss around some fairly legit ideas...some not so legit. time's up. gotta run to lecture.

3:15. environmental design lecture. always 2 back to back. these things can put u to sleep or they can be quite interesting. again, it's a thin line. good thing i've got my ipod today. it's the only thing keeping me awake. second one's better. john macdonald from designinc. good stuff. after the lec i approach him about an internship. they're looking. sweet. a biz card and a handshake later i head off with my mate daniels.

5:00. cool dude. down from adelaide. his place is a 2 min walk from campus so we head over there for a chat 'n a drink. good spot. over in carlton. couple blocks from lygon. that's little italy. great food, cafe's, bars 'n all that kind'of stuff. sitting on the second story balcony watching the melben's below warming up for their friday night. a good conversation later i gotta run down to st. kilda for dinner plans. peace. peace.

7:00. st. kilda's in south melby. gotta take the tram. but which one? this one looks good. says st. kilda. i'm on it. never been down this way before. st. kilda is beach town. more like cali. only problem for me is, i dunno what stop to get off at. 10 min in i'm getting anxious. i think i missed it...hop off and make a call. nope. should'of stayed on. dang. gotta wait for another st. kilda tram. i start chatting up 4 aussie's at the same tram stop. cool dudes down from adelaide to celebrate a bucks party. that's a bachelor party. offer my congratulations. we spend the next 15 passing jokes and talking about oz and the states. 4 trams later our st. kilda arrives. we all hop on.

7:50. finally i arrive at 'the big face'. luna park. an old amusement park masquerading as a shoddy old carnival. or vice versa. reminds me of the amusement park from the lost boys. good times. anyway, i'm here. and st. kilda is gorgeous. beach, water 'n city. all mixed up together. gotta love that. the views are gorgeous and there's plenty of people out 'n about. some local aussie's skateboarding. some riding bikes. 'n some young kids, probably on a dare, are running towards the frigid water to take a dip. they hit the water 'n freeze. now shivering 'n looking around like it wasn't such a good idea. crazy kids. a walk along the beach takes me to the pier where some kitesurfers are ripping up the bay with the city skyline as their backdrop. now that's cool. i'm hungry. let's get some dinner.

9:00. walking the sidewalk along st. kilda street. browsing cafe's 'n pubs looking for the right place. found it. fish 'n chips. fresh. done. some fried calamari, fish, n scallaps later i'm feeling pretty good. and pretty tired. oh, and i can't forget about the potatocakes. seems it's an aussie delicacy. i dunno about that. but its ok. it's friday night, but it's been a long week. i think i'm gonna head home. tram it back to flinders.

10:30. arrive at flinders. fed square is lively tonight. maybe, i'll stay out just a bit longer. well it is friday. i take a peek 'n grab a seat to watch the mondo outdoor movie screen. a few random video clips later 'n i head across flinders steet to see what the action is over on the sidewalk. free pancakes.

11:20. mmm...bridge chuch is grillin' up free pancakes on the sidewalk. well not 'on' the sidwalk. but you know what i mean. so i indulge. meet some cool new people and chat for a bit. talk about their church. talk about my church back home. talk about why i'm here. don't have an answer for that one. but i'm here. gotta run, but i agree to help 'em grill pancakes sometime soon. cool. new friends. gotta love melby.

11:45. i take a walk. cross the river 'n head down southbank hoping to catch someone playing music in the catacomb underneath the museum. no luck. (in spite of this setback i post a vid of the same spot from days earlier) so i head down along the river bank. it's a beautiful night. lots of people out. restaurants are packed. a couple of guys are playing the guitar 'n singing a poor yet amusing rendition of stairway to heaven. i watch for a bit. laughing to myself as people from the nearby restaurant yell out comments to these two pseudo-performers. i carry on. ooooh..the fire stacks are firing down by crown. that's the first time i've seen 'em. that's cool. google it, you'll see. i chill in the promenade 'n people watch for a bit. hmm...maybe i'll head over to crown.

12:30 crown casino. yeah, sorry mom. but i'm in the mood to play some blackjack. i know, i know. my money is for tuition right. well, it is friday night. drop off my backpack. scope the tables 'n grab a seat. this table's hot. couple of ol' ladies. an aussie bloke 'n his girlfriend who have had a few too many. but super funny couple. and friendly. and we play. down. up. back down. then way up. the couple leaves. we bid our g'days 'n then so do the ol' ladies. 3 aussie dudes take a seat. now these are cool dudes. what do you fellas do? kitesurfers. sweet. 30 minutes of blackjack hands later, all our luck has run out and we peal off 'n head our own directions. now i'm really tired. time to head home.

2:30. streets are a bit more empty this time of night. still a few night owls. and me. walk over to flinders. uh oh. didn't see this coming. trains have stopped running. silly me. i thought they ran all night. try the trams. excuse me sir, do the trams still run? nope. so now what? that's a looong walk. a slight feeling of panic rises up in my belly. then i remember 'she'll be right'. so i scope the streets for anything. taxi. tram. skateboard. i see a tram stopped up the way a bit. a quick walk up ahead. 'does this tram go by hawthorn?' yep. phew. last tram of the night. 'she'll be right'.

?:??. 10 or so tram stops later. a 10 minute walk. and i'm at home. 1 shower later i'm in bed and it feels so good.

so is that a typical day? i dunno. but it was my day. and this is melby. so i guess so. night.

giant baby on the loose!

2010-03-17T00:59:00.004+11:00

so ah...anyone missing a giant baby?

went to the melby art museum to check out artist ron mueck's exhibit. let's just say it was a lil' wierd...but some pretty cool stuff. take a peak.

so anyway...if u see a giant baby stroller, lemme know.

look ma....i'm famous!

2010-03-17T00:36:00.008+11:00

my blog is featured on global links news wire.

try this site. copy n paste. or just click on the post title above!
http://globalinksnewswire.com/1852/study-abroad-bloggers-on-a-roll/

bout half way down the page.

a lil' pub never hurts!

later gators.

penguins in oz?

2010-03-16T00:11:00.005+11:00

on location of the filming of 'surf's up 2' starring shia lebouf! hah!! here's some great penguin action at the melby acquarium.

love it! cute lil' guys.

spent last saturday checking out some sights around melby. the acquarium was one the spots and it was a pretty cool place. loved the penguins n jellyfish. huge shark tank was def cool as well.

JAWS!

don't wanna surf with that guy!

now....where do i find a croc?

my true heart.

2010-03-15T23:17:00.004+11:00

is missing. where did you go? because i can't seem to find you. i don't understand why i can't call upon you. why i can't say 'where are you heart?' and he respond to me 'i am here, waiting for you. what do you need? strength? confidence? calm? passion? whatever it is you need, i have it for you.' yet when i call out, i get no reply and all these things elude me. and i know the man that i am is not the real me, the true me. i cannot be the true me without my true heart. when i choose to do good, i am immediately tripped up by sin. not of my choosing, because i have chosen something else, but of the false self, the flesh that takes me down with it. and i find myself calling out again 'where are you heart? i need you.'

.roman 7:15-25

cheers.

2010-03-14T20:51:00.003+11:00

cheers to a good laugh.
cheers to a warm embrace.
cheers to a hand written letter,
a phone call from an old friend,
and a good moment that never ends.
cheers to the future.
cheers to the past.
and cheers to the present,
may it forever last.

Steak 'n Wine.

2010-03-09T22:35:00.003+11:00

sitting alone is becoming an all too familiar occurence for me lately. i don't really plan out my days. i almost always end up somewhere i hadn't expected, much less planned. it almost always ends up a good thing. so far so good, right? well mostly. no classes today but i did venture up to uni to sort out some schedule issues. no luck. all well, try again tomorrow. i do need a haircut. a mate of mine recommended i take the 86 over to some spot he really likes. sounds good, so i do. proper idea. bad timing. everyone's leaving work, school, shopping, blah blah. trams are packed. i'm not getting on and a bit frustrated. not to mention my back is killing me. then i remember my melby mantra...'she'll be right' as josh-o likes to remind me. other words...'don't stress, it'll be fine'. so i grab a coffee 'n a scone sorta thing 'n i chill. 'n wait. meanwhile a trio of young aussie's play a mixture of bob dylan inspired reggae, folksy kinda music on the sidewalk just outside the cafe. so i just sit and listen while the rush passes me by.......i hop on the 86 after i finish my coffee. now much more relaxed 'n head over to gertrude street. hop off. walk five or so blocks. haircut spots closed...dang. like i said, bad timing. 'she'll be right' in my head. so i walk. first right. then left. window shopping. people watching. just exploring. collingwood. my first time in these parts. eclectic, hippy, artsy kinda area. little bit like the loop back home with a dash of south grand. time for some dinner. tonight i dine with me. so i walk 'til i find a spot that's just right for my mood. cavallero. looks about right. elegant. simple but classic decor. modern styling. swanky music. chill vibe. perfect. so here i sit, alone. for the moment. writing and enjoying a beautifully cooked aussie steak. medium rare. just right. glass of red wine. watching out the window at a world moving endlessly. not a bad way to spend an evening...a trio of aussie's sit down to the table just near me. tanya the photographer. marko the italian. melissa the school teacher. tanya manages to spill her water and i oblige with my dinner napkin. i recommend the steak and the beginnings of a late evening of great conversation has just, unknowlingly to me, taken place. we talk politics, australia, the states, movies, photography, architecture and other odds 'n ends 'n bits of this 'n that. laughs, jokes and inquiries into each other's lives over the next couple hours. i share a bottle of red with my new aussie mates as they each enjoy the steak i recommended. a great evening of conversation that blossoms new relationships. an exchange of goodnights and goodbyes and we all go our separate ways. and off i walk to catch the 86 thinkin' how glad i was i didn't step on the packed tram earlier this evening and that the haircut spot was closed. fortunate frustrations can change the course of a day. you can go from sitting alone to enjoying steak 'n wine with new friends.

hav a walkabout?

2010-03-07T15:56:00.008+11:00

360* view of south wharf.

i found myself with some free time a few days back so i decided to have a 'walkabout', as they say, downtown...i really didn't know where i was heading or where i even was half the time. it was a fortunate accident which led me down along the yarra river in the southbank area and along south wharf and the docklands. even managed to stumble across some pretty cool back alleys full of graffiti, sneaker shops and underground cafes. i prob spent a good 4 hours walking around. even stopped for a quater pounder at the local Mcd's. hah. good ol' american fast food. just like i remember it. it was a beautiful sunny day in melby. here are the pics to prove it! enjoy. i did.

friday night in melby.

2010-03-06T00:16:00.001+11:00

sitting in the courthouse grass looking over Swanston street. it's friday night and everyone's out. everyone...young, old, aussie, asian, european, indian, boys, girls and everything in between. trams criss-cross in front of me travelling up and down Swanston and all around the city. two girls speaking a language unknown to me, just to my right. laughing and giggling over something they just said. some aussie teenagers skate by on their boards, pumping hard and hopping curbs and street grates as they whiz by. everyone, dressed up 'n dressed down walk the sidewalks at a feverish pace. dodging bicyclists and cars. lights of the nearby apartment buildings, office towers and skyscrapers illuminate the night sky as a gentle rain starts to fall. laughs, giggles, screeches, honks, whirring engines, bicycle chains and feet shuffling perform a new melody softened by the slightest bit of rain which morphs the orchestra of sounds into an urban symphony. and i sit. in the grass just off Swantson and take it all in. this brand new world...seems so familiar.

care package anyone?

2010-03-05T01:42:00.000+11:00

i've got an address....albeit a semi-perm one. could be here a month, could be here a year. but, like everything else on this lil' adventure...i'm just rolling with the punches.

3/561 Glenferrie Road
Hawthorn, Vic 3122
Australia

care package anyone??? hint hint.

i'm living in Hawthorn which is just about 10-15 mins outside the city...a quick tram or train ride and a pretty sweet area all in itself...kinda has a lil area like the delmar loop. reminds me of home ;-) anyway its late so i'm crashing....nite to you all.

God bless.

monday morning in oz.

2010-03-02T00:20:00.000+11:00

wake up in Kew. ate last night's pizza. throw on some jeans, a black tee and my nike's. walk to the Glenferrie train station. pass all sorts of shops, cafe's, bakeries and pedestrians. everyone's goin' somewhere. hop on the train to downtown. grab a seat. play my ipod. listen to jamiroquai. perfect train music. watch out the window as melbourne skyscrapers grow bigger. watch the faces of the people on the train. arrive downtown. central Melbourne station. get off the train. i think it's the right stop. not sure. head up to ground level and hit the street. queen elizabeth ave. which way do i go? choose left. wrong. ask for directions. head back the other direction. walk all the way to campus. ask for directions 2 more times. manage to only get slightly lost. good news. should of taken the tram. campus was further than i thought. but i'm here on melbourne campus. in downtown melbourne, australia. it's good.

heli ride in the yarra valley

2010-02-28T18:19:00.001+11:00

my heli ride in the yarra valley at the rhythm n vines festival.

my new mates took me down to the rhythm n vines festival in the yarra valley. the valley is kinda like our napa valley. lots of wineries and grape vineyard, surrounded by mountains and absolutely gorgeous. we listened to music, tasted some vino, danced and i took a heli ride! first time in my life and it was awesome! great view of the valley.

i gotta say, aussies can get very rowdy! but it's totally all about having a good time. they party n sing n dance and keep going! i think they drink beer with their cereal. they are awesome people...so nice and completely nice folks. i'm blessed to be here and to have met some awesome aussies who have invited me to hang out with them and do some cool stuff.

talk to ya!

first view of oz.

2010-02-28T14:10:00.001+11:00

first view of oz. you can see sydney harbour bridge and the opera house in the bay. it was a beautiful day and a really great flight over. if ur heading this way i def recommend flying qantas!

a brand new day in OZ.

2010-02-28T14:05:00.000+11:00

G'day friends and family. I know many of you want to keep track of my travels and adventures as I find out what life is going to be like in Australia. I'm super excited to be here and excited to share my adventures with you all. I will attempt to post pics n stories as often as I can on here and on Facebook. Feel free to use either or both to keep up with me and to let me know how you all are. I eventually plan to skype as well.

I love and miss you all already.

...and a special note to my mom - don't worry I am safe and sound! (since I know mothers worry so much about their baby boy ;-)

SEEN 2008

2008-12-12T14:51:00.006+11:00

Just finished up the opening night gala for SEEN 2008, and I took home a couple awards! It was an exciting night, with a great crowd, packed house and 2 third place performances for my photos!...not bad at all!!

SEEN 2008 is a juried photography competition displaying some of the best work from St. Louis area photographers. I was blessed to have 3 pieces in the show.

antigua washing pool. third place. travel

montserratt. travel.

which real city? third place. architecture.

The show was set up by Studio Altius in Maplewood and is running at their studio http://www.studioaltius.com/ from Dec 6 - early January. All the pieces in the show are for sale, though 2 of mine have already sold! The entire show is around 70 pieces out of over 300 submitted. All great work by some fantastic Saint Louis photographers.

Go check it out and support the local art scene!

Merry Christmas.

AIA....Antigua?!

2008-09-09T12:27:00.004+10:00

When I was on my last mission trip with AIA, we spent a couple amazing days in Antigua....it's a beautiful gem of a city (the original Spanish settlement in Central America) nestled at the base of a towering volcano....still active? NOT SURE!...but nonetheless, it was gorgeous....and I thought 'you know, I think I could live here...well, for a while at least.' Lucky for me, Cristobal, our AIA Guatemala staff member overheard me and immediately threw out an offer to me to come and stay in Antigua....learn Spanish....teach kids basketball....and continue to share my faith in Christ with them! Oh man, I was immediately interested.....I've been thinking it over and praying on it...and I think that I am going to do it!

Lucky for me, the basketball federation in Guatemala has agreed to cover most of my expenses while I'm there. I may need to raise some support though, but I know that if the Lord has planned for me to 'go forth and share the gospel amongst all nations' then He will raise the support I need.

Here's a pic of the team when we were in Antigua back in June.

So who knows...in a matter of weeks...or even days....I may be headed down south again!

oh yeah....I'M 25!

2008-05-07T04:14:00.003+10:00

woo hoo! quarter of a century........quarter life crisis! haha.

i know....sweet cake huh!

MY NEW PUP!

2008-05-07T03:40:00.006+10:00

meet LEGO! yep, that's right...his name is LEGO! and he is the most awesomest coolest most special super fantastic puppy the world has ever known!

he's an australian shepard....about 3 1/2 months now and he's growing fast! super smart too....if he wanted to, he could probably steal my keys and drive my truck!

he gets so much attention.....everybody loves him...somebody even told me he looks like a real life stuffed animal!.....haha

PUPPY POWER!

NYC!! Hello Manhattan!

2008-03-02T06:04:00.007+11:00

New York City. City of Dreams! A day in New York isn't always what it seems.
My first time in New York...wow, this is unreal! So awesome. I'm staying with good buddy Stuey! He's has sweet digs in Brooklyn. So far I've adventured in Manhattan. Taken many-a-ride on the train. Spent some reflecting at Ground Zero and saw Lady Liberty with my very own eyes. She was gorgeous! Here's a vid from my first experience in Times Square.

I was in Times Square within 3 hours of my plane touching down. I don't waste time. Not in NYC!

Check this out! I partied with DJ Jazzy Jeff last night at the Natural History Museum! He was the DJ at this crazy museum dance party! It was so awesome.....I was hoping the Fresh Prince would show up at any minute...but I did run into these guys....the Retros! these guys were awesome!

Me and Stuey....

Time for some sneak shopping today!

Seeya!

Elvis is my homeboy!

2008-02-26T18:10:00.004+11:00

It's my second trip to Memphis...that's right...I'M WALKIN' IN MEMPHIS! I love this town! Beale Street, good food (Gus' fried chicken!!), great music and friends.....its a good time thats for sure!

(Notice the Ecoterrorists sticker there on the corner...)

Enjoying my trip so far....took the Greyhound from the midwest down south and its only day two of my 'quarter life crisis' travel trip! haha......yeah, it's gonna be a good time and I'm gonna make sure I have some fun....while still getting some work done too of course....knocking out some grafficks and picking up some new clients on the way...who says you shouldn't mix business with pleasure!

Elvis is my HOMEBOY!

st. louis mag

2008-01-10T08:42:00.000+11:00

hey, what's goin on? this is my first post on this blog since I changed it around. i'm gonna use this blog as a place to publish my art + work. i'll include other stuff i find that i think is worth sharing....art, music, architecture, stuff like that.

about me....i'm a designer. graphic design, sculpture + architecture...i plan on adding a bunch of my work to this blog. i need an online portfolio so i thought this was a good way to do that.

right now, i'm pushing for more graphic design work. i recently had my first ad published in St. Louis magazine. i guess i'm official! anyway, check it out....

this is the mag....

and this is the ad...

i think it looks pretty good.....this is also the firm i'm working for right now. hellmuth+bicknese or h+b....im an architectural designer. we focus on all types of 'green' architecture and i just got my LEED AP (for those of you who know what that is).

alright...later on